I got kicked out of school on the first day of kindergarten

I got kicked out of school on the first day of kindergarten. Why you ask? Well it’s because I sat on the sink. (This is when you say to yourself, wait what?) I had made friends with another little girl named Lauren, and she sat on the sink in the bathroom, so naturally I followed suit. We were both asked to get off of the sinks, so we did, but then Lauren got right back on it as soon as the teacher left. Of course, I did too. I couldn’t let her do it alone. When the teacher came back in she became visibly angry and sent us both to the principal’s office. He called our parents to come in, so he could explain what had happened, and how we were going to be disciplined. Laurens mother came in business attire, looking clean and crisp. My mother came in high and dressed like a hooker. Just for clarification my mother is not a hooker, she’s just a mess. Anyways, Lauren ended up being able to go back to class, and I was sent home early. That was the first day I realized you could be labeled based on the actions of your parents, and I have been since then.

After watching Baby Cobra, I was certain Ali Wong and I had nothing in common. She is the exact opposite of me. She is an extrovert, whereas I’m an introvert. She’s loud and in your face, I’m quiet and laid back. She rocks spandex dresses even with a pregnant belly. I look terrible in one without a pregnant belly. There is, however, one thing we have in common. We were both pushed to be better than our parents. Wong grew up in an Asian American family, with a history of immigration, and a need to succeed so she didn’t fail them. I too was afraid to fail my family, but for a different reason than Wong. She couldn’t let them down because her grandfather and mother came over here with nothing, and had to make a life for themselves. She wasn’t allowed to fail them because they’d worked too hard to give her a good life. My parents on the other hand were not successful people. I wasn’t allowed to fail them because I was expected to be more than them. I was raised by my grandparents, and that’s partly because my parents are failures. My gene pool isn’t filled with hard workers, who did whatever they could to make it, so their children didn’t have to struggle like they did. My gene pool is full of addicts  who did not care if their children struggled. Although I will hand it to my father, he has turned his life around and works very hard as a lumber man. Either way, the values instilled in Wong were not instilled in me, at least not by my parents. I’m here to tell you there is nothing worse than being raised by someone who’s child has failed at life. They feel as if they can’t raise two failures and you feel as if you can’t let them down because they did take you in after all.

Though I haven’t felt the same pressures Wong has, I’ve felt them in the same ways, and I understand how intense that pressure can be. In her book Wong writes, “Asians like predictability. We like safety. We want to know that if we work hard, there will be a payoff… and in entertainment, you very well might not make it despite all of those years you invested” (160). Her parents didn’t want her to be a comedian because it wasn’t the kind of job that’s guaranteed. It’s for the same reason my grandparents didn’t want me to be a writer, even though that was my passion. Our parents/grandparents wanted us to have more practical jobs. The kind that are always guaranteed, and understandably so. Wong and I had the kind of parents/grandparents that wanted us to be doctors, or lawyers, because we wouldn’t have to struggle, and we would always have a job. I wasn’t allowed to get anything less than a B in school because anything less was unacceptable, and I was supposed to be succeed at everything I did. Unlike Wong I did not decide to follow my dream anyway. I decided to get a degree in a field I believe I will also enjoy, just not as much. Writing can always be a hobby.

I was inspired after reading the other blogs posted last week by my fellow classmates, (that means you if you’re reading this, yes YOU inspired me, thank you for that). I realized many people were posting very personal stories. The main trend I saw was, how their stories did not define them, but it did help shape them. I loved that. Who my parents are, and my upbringing, do not define me, but they have helped shape me into the person I am today. I don’t think we can run from our past, but we can decide which parts of it we let shape our future.