I Like My Relationship Just the Way It Is, Thank You Very Much

In class this week we discussed whether or not we had ever wished our lives could be like romantic comedies.  In response to this I said no, but since then I have found myself comparing my life to the television shows I watch.  I have been watching Dexter lately and throughout the series, Dexter, the main character, experiences an unfortunate number of shitty relationship-related problems.  While the relationships are clearly pretty messed up given the fact he is a serial killer, somehow I still found myself feeling some type of way about the relationships. 

WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD! 

Halfway through the series, Dexter’s wife and mother to their infant child is murdered by a serial killer he had been hunting.  During his brief break up with his wife, (pre-marriage) Dexter falls for a woman who is an arsonist and tries to burn down her apartment with his ex-girlfriend’s/future wife’s children in it.  He then makes her move out of the country, follows her, and kills her. After his wife is murdered, he falls in love with a survivor of another set of serial killer-rapists and after they kill a few people together, she just leaves him.  Then, just when you think maybe he’s over this whole “relationship thing” that we all know is WAY TOO COMPLICATED AND CHALLENGING FOR EVEN A NORMAL PERSON ! ! ! Dexter falls for another serial killer who he falls in love with when he’s trying to kill her and she’s up hashed.  They then, OH SO ROMANTICALLY, have sex after HE JUST TRIED TO KILL HER ! ! ! I’m sorry, but   W H A T.   T H E.    F U C K. Now, with where I am at in the series, his sister of all people, is trying to get this woman arrested for her serial murders.  AND! Get this, his sister confesses to him THAT SHE IS IN LOVE WITH HIM. Before you go, “Ew, Hannah, I don’t want to hear about this incest crap.” I will tell you that they are not biologically related so while its still a bit fucked, its not as messed up as if they were biological.  

Needless to say, Dexter has got a lot going on.  The worst part? These relationships, especially the last few, seem so promising.  They’re so in love and it makes you feel all gushy and warm inside because you can’t help but think, “Oh, maybe if he finds the right woman he’ll stop killing people and he’ll finally be whole!” As far as I know, that is just not in the cards for Dexter.  The lovey part of this makes me feel some type of way, I guess.  I didn’t chose this show to watch for the love story aspect; I just really like shows about serial killers (I wonder what that says about my subconscious…yikes). But now I’m hooked because Netflix really be like that. 

ANYWAY I’m rambling now.  But, my point being, he is so in love with these women that it makes me long to feel loved that way. Except, its like the Tragic Hero trope. I would never want to be in that relationship because it clearly is flawed from the start.  HE’S A SERIAL KILLER.  I would never want to be in a relationship that was inevitably doomed from the start, and while that may seem obvious, I find that this commonly occurs in romantic comedies. 

So why do I hate romantic comedies? Because they are unrealistic, cheesy or I hate the woman in the relationship because she is just so unrealistic that I get fired up about unrealistic beauty standards. Honestly? The same goes for men.  I don’t find the men to be realistic either, and before you tell me I’m just being pessimistic, I’m here to tell you that I am not.  These characters are hand crafted to be what people want to see. They are built to be what people want to see or to fit the hand crafted love story, even if it is a tragic love story that somehow still gets to you.  The only active relationship I genuinely envy is Chip and Joanna Gaines, because I just love them, ugh! They’re so cute and 7 out of 10 times, Joanna is just fed up with Chip’s shit and that right there is realistic.  Truly, I love my relationship and wouldn’t trade it for any other relationship in this world, real or fake.