I’ve
been thinking about doing this post since our class discussion weeks ago about
how older gay men react to the relative freedom of expression younger gay men
have today. We discussed this topic briefly after reading David Sedaris’ piece
“Road Trips”, but it hasn’t left my mind in the ensuing weeks. In “Road Trips”,
Sedaris describes the way a fifteen-year-old boy refers to a man as a “her” and
openly identifies himself as gay, and remarks “When I was this kid’s age, you’d
be burned alive for such talk. Being a homosexual was unthinkable, and so you
denied it” (65). Sedaris' shock after encountering a young man who is open about
his sexuality made me think about just how much bigotry and hate the LGBT+
community has dealt with in the past and how much they are still dealing with.
The 20th century, the
period David Sedaris grew up in, was a kind of boiling point of hate, fear, and
discrimination against the LGBT+ community. From the way gay men and lesbian
women were targeted along with others who didn’t fit the Aryan standard in
WWII, to the Stonewall riots, to the HIV/AIDS epidemic and the hysteria that
surrounded it, members of the LGBT+ community were constantly under threat in
the 20th century. To expound on just one of these awful events:
Think of the panic surrounding COVID-19, then multiply that panic by 10,000,
then add intense discrimination and bigotry, and you will have an inkling of an
idea of what the environment during the height of the HIV/AIDS epidemic was
like. The hate that came to a boil in the 20th century has somewhat
lessened, but it is still ever present today.
The reason for that envy and
fascination that Sedaris felt when seeing how a fifteen-year-old was able to
proudly identify himself as gay can be understood when one remembers the long
road LGBT+ people have traveled to gain the level of acceptance they have
today. Every time I hear or read about an older member of the LGBT+ community
experiencing what life is like for LGBT+ people today, I have a curious mix of
emotions. On one hand, I’m ecstatic that these older LGBT+ people have lived to
see monumental change in many places around the world concerning how their
community is treated and accepted. On the other hand, I’m filled with immense
anger, bitterness, and sadness for those people in the LGBT+ community who
dealt with nothing but pain, ridicule, hate, and shame in their lifetime, and
didn’t live to see change. The people who had to hide who they were and lie
about their identity. The people who had no rights as a human being because of
who they loved or what gender they identified as. The people who faced bigotry
and hate everyday undefended by people in authority or established laws that we
have today.
This was more of a rant than a
coherent and thesis-driven post, but I wanted to get some emotions out on this
topic. No one can change the past, yet I can’t stop driving myself insane
thinking about all the pain the LGBT+ community has suffered with for
centuries. I’m so glad David Sedaris and other members of the LGBT+ community
have received some basic human rights, and the treatment of LGBT+ people has
improved in so many ways. It’s wonderful that change is possible, even though
it’s a little slow.
I very much appreciate you bringing this into conversation, as you are absolutely right. Let me explain, and give you a ~little~ example. A straight, female relative of mine (no specifics because, you know), who is in her mid-20s, recently got a boyfriend who just so happens to be bisexual. Cool, I mean it's 2020, right? When this female relative talked to her mother about it, who is aware of and close to both me and my female fiancee, her mother asked her if she was scared that she would get AIDS from him! May I just add, her mother was a nurse for over 20 years. Her mother /also/ never asked that question about any of the previous boyfriends her daughter had told her about. The ignorance and bigotry is still alive and well in 2020, despite, as some may assume, the fact that some restaurants now hang one or two rainbow flags in the window.
ReplyDeleteThis was also a little rant-y, but I have not had the chance to talk about this incident with anyone yet, so thanks for letting me do it here.
I wish the public education system would teach students about the history behind these things, and maybe then there'd be less stigma around them. There is no denying the AIDS crisis and how terrible it was, so why did I never learn about it in school? It is history, like it or not, and should be taught to everyone. People in or out of the LGBTQ+ community should all be aware of the struggle that these folks went through and how hard they had to fight to simply live their lives safely. Although we are still not where we need to be in terms of acceptance, I believe we are moving in the right direction (for the most part... kind of).
ReplyDeleteI definitely understand and experience the emotions concerning this topic as well. I never really understood or had experience learning the struggles that the LGBT+ community goes through in society and Sedaris and Brandum have been able to give me a well explained perspective. Like you mentioned, each grew up in different time periods and had different, but not too different, experiences as gay men. Both were not amazingly accepting of them and I hope that it has improved since then!
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