Why is Sex so taboo? It happens all day, everyday!

Hello beautiful people! Loving the new, exciting week of blog post’s, am I right everyone!

I knew the minute I watched Ali Wong’s “Baby Cobra,” that I wanted to write about how I felt watching this comedy special and how I can personally relate to the sections of her set relating to sex, and anything sexually related.

When I first turned on “Baby Cobra,” I was thinking that this special was going to be similar to the others we had watched for class, in terms of the kind of topics and humor used. (Excluding “Nanette” since I think that special is unique unto itself) But boy was I wrong! The minute she went into her segment about how she needed to trap her new husband for her life-long-money-making partner, I knew this comedy special was going to be very, Very, VERY different from the others we had watched!

(Below is the quoted segment of her show I talked about above)

“Alright Ali, you Gotta make this dude believe that your body is a secret garden. When really, it’s the public park, that has hosted many reggae fest, and even accidentally let two homeless people inside. I thought they were hipsters, OK? That store urban outfitters has made things very confusing for my generation. Are you homeless or are you a hipster. Is that beard for fashion or for warmth.“ (8:35)

I immediately felt surprised by this moment in the special where this seven-and-a-half-month pregnant woman was talking about her sexual prowess and sex life that happened before she got married. Usually, women in this society are encouraged to NOT talk about this sort of topic. We need to be “virginal” and “innocent,” because the alternative is being either a “slut” or a “whore,” so it’s a lose-lose situation either way.

I didn’t feel uncomfortable in the slightest when she talked about how she started watching porn at a young age (29:20), how she broke up with an ex-boyfriend because he didn’t want to do anal (30:20), and how she said “…I like that fear…” when talking about introducing men to their prostate (33:25). I’m lucky in this respect, since my mom made sure I was educated about this sort of topic before I went into middle school, because she didn’t want some boy telling me instead. (Shout out to my wonderful mother) I would also consistently read adult romance novels while in middle school (scandalous I know), would watch love/sex scenes in movies and TV shows unabashedly, and I personally made sure I was informed and comfortable with a topic that is normal and natural for all humans.

To put it plainly, I was very comfortable with this topic once I hit high school, but when I met one of my very good friends, lets call her Susan, during our freshman year of high school, I realized that not everyone was nearly as comfortable with this topic as I was. She had been raised in a very religious household and was taught from a young age that she was only supposed to have sex once she was married. She had this embarrassment and fear of anything sexual, and even to this day, after working with her to reprogram her mindset over the past 4-5 years, she can only just now talk about sex and such without going red and feeling uncomfortable.

This notion that women are supposed to be demure, quiet, and virginal when it comes to sexual experiences is such bullshit. Especially since whenever a man talks about his escapades, he is usually praised and congratulated, but if a woman does, she is considered easy and slut-ish. I hate that there is this double standard, and that women feel pressured to stay quiet about their needs, fantasies, urges, and wants when it comes to sex, and anything related to it. It’s healthy to have all of those things, and to be shamed for it is just another way the patriarchy is trying to keep women quiet and beaten down. Because you know women who are confident and sexually proud of their needs are a force to be reckoned with, and I honestly think these men are scared of these kinds of women.

Well, I’ll stop ranting now and leave you with this final question to think about. “If you are uncomfortable with topics about sex or relating to sex, why is that? Was the cause family, friends, media, something else, or a mixture of a few of those?”