Something a few of you know about me is that I don’t like kids. I mean, think about the germs (I bet everyone has seen a kid pick their nose and then spread the boogers onto a somewhat-clean surface), the stickiness (why, oh why are they sticky all the time?), the loudness (ugh, I can hear the screams and wails from here), the smelliness (like an artificial smell—you all know what I’m talking about! Like a Michael’s that’s been taken over by a hostile hoard of preschoolers), and the evil grins displayed on their faces (need I say more?).
Elana, you’re alienating yourself here…
Actually, I don’t think I am. I know plenty of other women who feel the same way I do about small children. Not every woman on the planet wants to be anywhere near the small beasts, let alone have any of their own.
Yeah, yeah, okay. So maybe you have a valid opinion. But why are you even telling anyone this? Don’t you want to be more electable? Liking kids helps your image! No one is going to want to elect someone who doesn’t want to help kids!
That’s a misconception. Just because I don’t want to go anywhere near children, it doesn’t mean they aren’t an important part of society. They are the future generation, so they should have the resources to learn and play and create, just like we did as kids, just like our parents before us, and our grandparents before them. And why do I have to like kids to get along with foreign leaders? If voters think that childcare and foreign policy are one and the same, then that is not only offensive to every world leader this country cooperates with, but also to the office of the President of the United States (yeah, I said it. Don’t come at me.). The president shouldn’t have to be a babysitter to countries that can’t get a hold of themselves.
So why is this relevant to our current readings? Wong, Fey, Poehler, and Fern are all mothers by the time they write their respective works. While they break down boundaries in the workplace or, especially Fern’s case, comment on societal issues while masking it with humor, they are still raising a family on top of it. They seem revolutionary, but they still take on a traditional role of being a mother. Why? I’m funny, but I certainly don’t want to raise kids to be as funny as me (actually, the end result would be the most sarcastic, short-tempered human being on the planet, which is much more terrifying). Are they truly revolutionary if they have to raise kids on top of their other responsibilities? Wouldn’t kids hold them back?
I was actually reading another book titled Fighting Back in Appalachia for my Appalachian Studies class when I realized that women have been revolutionary not despite their kids, but because of their kids. Women in Appalachia didn’t want to rely on their husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons to bring in money, especially when their jobs didn’t pay much. Women wanted to be able to support their families, and it wasn’t until President Carter passed Executive Order 11246 that women and minorities were eligible for federal jobs. Highway workers, miners, building traders—all these “non-traditional” jobs helped families stay afloat.
So when I say I don’t like kids, I don’t mean they aren’t important. They are important; they are the reason their mothers fight every day for their place at the table, for a voice at the table. When Ali Wong says in the chapter “The Miracle of Life”, “ I am so tired that I feel like I’ve been swimming in the ocean for twenty days straight. But it’s worth it,” (32) that’s how most mothers feel after a day of working, driving one kid to baseball practice, another kid to debate practice, and then back again.
I don’t like kids, but I have to respect them for who they are: motivation to be better.
On some days I like kids, but on other days--perhaps after hours and hours of babysitting my neighbor's kids and my siblings--I don't want to be anywhere near them. No matter what kind of day it is, I believe it is so important to treat kids as the future generation that will change the world in their own way. And you're right: taking care of kids is an exhausting, all-consuming, and often thankless job. It's crazy that women are shamed if they say they don't want kids. Men say they don't want kids perpetually, but if a woman says it, it's abandoning an established role for women.
ReplyDeleteI'm honored that I was present when this blog post idea was being crafted in Rams Den. Thanks for writing about something so real! Like we've mentioned in class, women are often seen as mothers even if they have no children of their own. It's wild to me that someone saying they don't want or like kids is some sort of revolt. So be it, I guess.
ReplyDeleteI love this post. You're really so funny. I respect what you've said here. I love kids, but I completely understand where you're coming from.
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