My Personal Life Update: It's Going Poorly :)

I'm going be frank, guys - I don't know how I'm going to relate this to feminism or current readings or anything class-related. This is probably going to be another free-flowing rant, so I hope I find a point to this along the way.

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I'm struggling, guys. I consider myself a professional workaholic who, up until the quarantine, thrived on a 35+ hour work-week plus school plus a weekend made up of equal parts hanging out with my adorkable boyfriend and doing homework and watching anime. Basically, my life should be as busy if not busier than Tina Fey's during that period when she was playing Sarah Palin AND needed Oprah to go on 30 Rock AND had to plan her daughter's birthday party. (...and yes, that was my one connection for this post...)

Mah boo with his fresh-cut hair sippin' on boba tea. By the way, I thrive on cute photos of my boyfriend, especially during this quarantine!

Now I have none of this. Two out of three of my jobs have by now declared me unemployed. My state's governor decided I can't see my boyfriend unless we're meeting at a grocery store (our next date: WalMart??). I need money, and yet I still haven't been able to speak to someone at Maryland Unemployment Claims office. I have wayyyy too much time to watch Hulu (weird flex, I know) and procrastinate, which hurts my soul. AND my birthday is coming up. Since you guys are delightfully unaware, I'm overly insecure about my birthday, and being forced to be unsocial for my birthday makes me emotional unstable to put it lightly.

Of course, life could be worse. I've talked to people who are single parents supporting four kids who are now unemployed. I'm sure there are people who planned to be married this April whose weddings are deemed "unnecessary" and have to postpone their weddings. Although, I doubt there guests could have arrived and the businesses providing DJ services or cakes or bouquets are probably closed anyways.

Basically, we're all struggling, guys. But we're also all in it together. Life is hard, there are crazy people on beaches and at parties that are just begging to get sick or arrested or whatever. I'm just saying that I'm happy for school and I'm blessed to be able to communicate with you all. These simple interactions really bring life into my day, and I hope we can all lend each other strength and kindness during this time because who knows how each person is individually suffering through this quarantine. Let's get through this together and be victors at the end of this time.

(Also, some of y'all should start learning how to play an instrument or how to be excellent photographers during this time. We can all use this time to personally improve ourselves and our skills, or improve relationships virtually. We can do this!)

Doing Well in Online Courses

Hey all! I hope everyone is home safe and well. I know a lot of people are stressed out about the mystery of online classes. I usually take online classes anyway while taking in person classes because... well... I like them. While I am still nervous about being completely online, I still feel like I could maybe, possibly, potentially help somebody with some tips I've learned on how to do well in online classes!

1. GET A PLANNER/CALENDAR/STICKY NOTE WALL! 

A big thing that has always helped me is to mark down every single due date. For every due date, I also mark down which day I'll start working on the assignment. This helps me set more of a schedule for myself. 

2. DO ONE THING AT A TIME.

If I start doing work while also watching Netflix on a tiny screen, I lose my concentration pretty quickly. If I sit down with a snack and try to read a chapter while eating, I have to re-read the same chapter three times. I'm not sure how great you all are at keeping focused, but I am awful. I've found it super helpful to do school work when it's time for school work, eat when it's time to eat, and watch Netflix when it's Netflix time. (Also, set a Netflix time! Leisure/relaxing is still important.) 

3. REWARD YOURSELF!

A good way that I trick(?) myself into doing school work is by setting little goals. "Once I get 3 pages of this paper done, I'll go have dinner." "After I take this test, I'll go watch an episode of New Girl." It motivates me & puts me in a better mood to finish whatever I started!

4. JUST START.

I can't tell you how many times I put off a project/assignment, think about it night and day, stress over getting it one, and then once I start... it is WAY easier than anticipated. If you can just get yourself to start, you'll be golden 9/10 times. 

5. SPLIT UP TASKS.

I am a person who likes to "sit down and do it all at once." I've said that phrase a thousand times. This semester, I've tried to change it up a bit. When I'd have a big project, I'd do half one day and half the next. It feels SO NICE to wake up and think "I only have to do the second half of that project today!" It can also be helpful to write out which parts of a project you'll do on certain days. It takes a big scary thing and breaks it up into tiny, less scary parts. 

6. STOP PROCRASTINATING. 

Easy as that, right? Just stop :-)… just kidding. It is HARD to stop procrastinating! I am definitely top 10 procrastinators of all time. If my professors knew how many assignments I finished the night before class, they'd probably stop telling people that they "can't do this assignment the night before it's due!" That being said, I've found what works for me. Every time I look at an assignment/pile of laundry/dirty dishes and think, "I'll do that later..." I ask myself, "when?" If I can't pinpoint a time that I'll be able to do it, I just do it. If I can't think of a legitimate excuse for why I can't do those things right now, I force myself to do it. Truth is, I'm NEVER going to be "in the mood" to write a long paper, watch an hour lecture, wash dishes, or fold laundry. I'm not going to wake up and "feel like it." It's always going to suck. But if I don't do it now, it's going to suck tomorrow too. I'd like to shorten the suck.

That's it, that's all I've got. I hope everybody does well in their courses. I bought stock in Zoom last night so the next time you see me, I'll be rich. Good luck!

Week 10: A Rant About LGBT+ Rights

I’ve been thinking about doing this post since our class discussion weeks ago about how older gay men react to the relative freedom of expression younger gay men have today. We discussed this topic briefly after reading David Sedaris’ piece “Road Trips”, but it hasn’t left my mind in the ensuing weeks. In “Road Trips”, Sedaris describes the way a fifteen-year-old boy refers to a man as a “her” and openly identifies himself as gay, and remarks “When I was this kid’s age, you’d be burned alive for such talk. Being a homosexual was unthinkable, and so you denied it” (65). Sedaris' shock after encountering a young man who is open about his sexuality made me think about just how much bigotry and hate the LGBT+ community has dealt with in the past and how much they are still dealing with.

            The 20^th century, the period David Sedaris grew up in, was a kind of boiling point of hate, fear, and discrimination against the LGBT+ community. From the way gay men and lesbian women were targeted along with others who didn’t fit the Aryan standard in WWII, to the Stonewall riots, to the HIV/AIDS epidemic and the hysteria that surrounded it, members of the LGBT+ community were constantly under threat in the 20^th century. To expound on just one of these awful events: Think of the panic surrounding COVID-19, then multiply that panic by 10,000, then add intense discrimination and bigotry, and you will have an inkling of an idea of what the environment during the height of the HIV/AIDS epidemic was like. The hate that came to a boil in the 20^th century has somewhat lessened, but it is still ever present today.

            The reason for that envy and fascination that Sedaris felt when seeing how a fifteen-year-old was able to proudly identify himself as gay can be understood when one remembers the long road LGBT+ people have traveled to gain the level of acceptance they have today. Every time I hear or read about an older member of the LGBT+ community experiencing what life is like for LGBT+ people today, I have a curious mix of emotions. On one hand, I’m ecstatic that these older LGBT+ people have lived to see monumental change in many places around the world concerning how their community is treated and accepted. On the other hand, I’m filled with immense anger, bitterness, and sadness for those people in the LGBT+ community who dealt with nothing but pain, ridicule, hate, and shame in their lifetime, and didn’t live to see change. The people who had to hide who they were and lie about their identity. The people who had no rights as a human being because of who they loved or what gender they identified as. The people who faced bigotry and hate everyday undefended by people in authority or established laws that we have today.

            This was more of a rant than a coherent and thesis-driven post, but I wanted to get some emotions out on this topic. No one can change the past, yet I can’t stop driving myself insane thinking about all the pain the LGBT+ community has suffered with for centuries. I’m so glad David Sedaris and other members of the LGBT+ community have received some basic human rights, and the treatment of LGBT+ people has improved in so many ways. It’s wonderful that change is possible, even though it’s a little slow.

           

Post 10: ~I’m a Creep, I’m a Weirdo~

Hey everyone! Hope you're all well and ready to get back to blogging, as I can't wait to read what you have to say!

As I was reading the chapter of David Sedaris’s book, “Memento Mori”, it was a bit strange to me at how bothered Sedaris turned out to be by the human skeleton, with its constant repeating of “you are going to die”. I realized, as we discussed this section in class, that many people also found this creepy and morbid. Death is scary, no doubt, as humans are programmed to fear that which is unknown to us. I get that. It is just always a bit startling when I express my own love and appreciation for, as I like to call them, ‘dead things’, and others don’t share my interest. When I first started getting into ‘dead things’, I decided to think of each piece as a memory, collecting as many as possible in order to celebrate the life they lived through admiring their intricacies and uniqueness rather than focusing on the looming, imminent anxiety of death. It is important to remember these beings (human, animal, etc.) and the life they might have lived, even though I don’t usually know the life/background of the dead thing. I guess this is my own twist on Memento Mori, which is defined (as I found) as “an object serving as a warning or reminder of death, such as a skull”.

Because, in his book, Sedaris talks about the ways in which “certain objects convey a message” (154), I decided the only way to really explain why I love dead things is to tell you the messages that some of the pieces I own convey to me personally. I hope this helps those of you who don’t share an affinity for dead things (looking at you, my dear Kristina) see why I collect all of these morbid, creepy objects

• my teeth: I have kept both my wisdom teeth (from surgery) and baby teeth (my mom kept literally all of them). My baby teeth are stored in a little tube, and my friend Megan actually made earrings for me out of my wisdom teeth! (She’s in a band, has a shop for her homemade jewelry, and does art commissions all while being a full time student, what a legend) The message these teeth convey to me is: “You were not always as you are now”. They tell me I was younger and more naïve once, as I don’t remember most of my childhood, and the parts I do remember aren’t the happiest. They remind me I am human, I have a skeleton inside me. Can you tell I have dissociative tendencies?

the other earring broke, and now I am not sure where it is...
(sorry Megan)

thanks for saving all of these, Mom, bet you didn't expect I'd keep them!

•       cat skeleton: Karson and I found a full, untouched skeleton (at the time, we weren’t sure what it was, but have since identified it as a domestic cat) on a walk, right off the side of the road, very close to our apartment. It looked like it had been placed there after it died and hadn’t been moved since! It says to me: “The body may die, but you have the ability to bring new life”. I have a special place in my heart for cats, and as you all know I have my own little boy of my own, named Godfrey. Finding this skeleton reminded me of Godfrey, as well as the many dead cats and kittens I see on the side of the road on the way to class every day, and I have always wanted a cat skull! Though it is still sad, collecting and displaying this skeleton enables me to carry on the memory and life of this animal, even though I don’t know how it did actually live. Who knows, it may have even belonged to someone I know!

This is Godfrey, it is so cool to think he has a skull just like that in there. Also, look at those fangs!

here is how we found the skeleton, it looked like it hadn't moved since it died

• cow tooth: This is a very old bone that my Papaw (grandpa, husband of Mamaw, father of my mother) found on his farm, probably belonging to one of his or his ancestors’ cows that passed away. It says: “Love is expressed in unique, unusual ways”. Papaw is in his mid-70s and is the only positive father figure I have ever had, and though he is a farmer, hunter, and lover of animals, he doesn’t really get why I want/like all of these weird dead things. Even so, he still gets so excited when he finds something that he thinks I’ll like. This was the first thing he found and gave to me, after I asked him to keep an eye out for bones. I believe I was around 16 at the time, and I knew that his excitement despite his not relating to my interest meant that he loved me so much, and I really love him back (even though he is old and ignorant and can be kind of insensitive).

• shark jaws (and teeth): We have two bull shark jaws, as well as lots of shark teeth that aren’t pictured (some are Karson’s, some she gifted to me). The jaws I bought from a shop at the beach, and the shark teeth were all found by Karson at the beach! My brother and I have tried for years to find them on beach trips, to no avail. These things say: “You are returned the love that you put out”. Karson’s favorite animals are sharks, and they always remind me of her. These things remind me that I love and understand her, and that she loves and understands me right back.

from bottom to top, it is about the size of my palm

• baby opossum skeleton: This is another sad one, as Karson and I raised this opossum (Griffin) for a few months before he ended up passing away. These bones say: “The things you love most are going to inevitably die, and it will be okay. The love you have will not die with them”. Karson and I loved this little goofball so much and we tried so hard to give him a good life, but he was just too young to live without his mother. Even so, we still love to go through all of the pictures we have of him and talk about how sweet he was. He used to eat eggs with crushed up shells and after he was done, hours later, he’d start crunching on them again! He kept them stored in his cheeks! We haven’t reassembled or cleaned his bones yet, its all so tiny (and it’s still painful). But I love talking about Griffin and sharing him with others, hoping his memory will bring others joy as it has brought me.

you can see (around the middle of the picture) one side of his jaw, still with some little teeth in it

look at those little fingers! the teeth (refer to previous photo)! the nose!

we had to (very lightly and from a distance) dry him with a hairdryer after his bath!

Other miscellaneous pictures I wanted to include:

this is just one of 2-3 bat skeletons Karson, my little brother, and I found in the old house on my grandparents' property;
Karson and I soaked and cleaned all of the teeny bones and adhered them in this container in the (mostly) correct position.

from left to right: bobcat, domestic cat, fox
I think it is so interesting to observe the similarities and differences between these skulls, as they are all semi-feline animals

I think it is safe to say I relate to Hugh on this one, I hope one day to be able to have a real human skull, or maybe even a whole skeleton! 

Please know that dead things aren’t the only things that make me happy, there are so many different things that I see every day that are not associated with death and make me smile! For example: your beautiful faces (even though we may not see each other all at once again this semester), Nick’s shoutouts to “his HNRS 389 girls” (ow, my big ol’ heart), Cheyenne’s bag of candies that she made for us (I have found throughout this course that candy is one of the top 3 ways to my heart), and the daffodil I picked for Dr. H that she put with her other plant in a cup of water (she kept it!!!). Thanks for bringing joy to my life, and hopefully not judging me too much for my fascination with dead things.

THIS IS THE OFFICIAL END OF MY POST.

For those of you who may be a little curious about our baby opossum Griffin and our time with him, I am including an overview of our story and some pictures of him when he was still alive and crunching on eggshells with those sharp, tiny teeth. This has nothing to do with my main post, so don’t feel obligated to read any further.

My fiancée Karson, at the time, lived in Buckhannon and I in Bridgeport. On the day before she and I attend my senior prom (her first ever school dance!), Karson was outside and heard weird noises coming from her front yard (I tried for five minutes to find the words to describe the noise, but I am just going to include a link so you can hear it for yourself). Karson found about 12 tiny baby opossums scattered across the yard, it had been raining all day and they were clearly far too young to be away from their mom (who, we assumed, was either scared off or killed, as she would not have purposely left all of her babies).

the day they are found, wet and in the grass, calling for their mom

Karson took care of them every hour of the day and night, feeding and watering/helping them use the bathroom/adjusting the lighting and temperature constantly to keep them warm enough, but most didn’t make it through the first night. Like I said, they were way too young. After prom, we opted out of the stereotypical partying and belligerence (no judgment!) and went back to my mom’s house to take care of the few babies we had left.

this picture was taken the night of prom, after Karson and I returned to take care of the babies
(look at those claw-nails)

They didn’t even have their eyes open yet, and wouldn’t for another several days. Baby Lily died and Griffin was the only one we had left, and we often kept him very close to us. He liked to hang out in our shirts/hoods/in our hair, and once or twice I walked up to a loved one who was very surprised when I pulled a sleeping baby opossum out of my bra. It was warm and he got himself in there, okay?

look at those little hands!!!

just hangin' out

mother-son nap time!

He was doing well and making great progress (could even go to the bathroom on his own!), eyes opened and his fur grew in fully. He was so funny, he liked to give kisses and climb on us like a playground. Karson had to cut the bottom off of a soda can and sand the edges in order to make a water bowl small enough for him!

kisses!

Sadly, Griffin began to get sick and ended up passing away. Karson and I cried, and so did my mom and brother. And Karson’s mom, in New Jersey. This tiny little guy had such a large impact, all of my friends and teachers were so devastated to hear that he was gone. He brought a lot of joy to us for a short time, and we tried to give him the best life we could. I’m glad I got to write this, because I love talking about him and making other people smile with his goofiness. It’s what the little homie would have wanted.

Extra: If you haven’t already seen her page, here is the famous Opossum Lady of YouTube. I highly recommend checking her out.

Hi All!

Hi Everyone!

How is everyone doing with this crazy life we are all living right now?!

My answer: I am STRUGGLING! You know don't get me wrong, I am a strong introvert when it comes to my social life. I rarely leave my house other than for work, school or exercise. But man, when I say I have a strong urge to go somewhere, it's strong! I am quickly running out of things to do. My sleep schedule is messed up. AND I can't STOP baking!

Let me elaborate: In the past week and a half, I have baked 3 cakes, a batch of muffins, and cooked dinner at 4 pm for the past 4 nights. I have also made 4 batches of Snickers Frappuccinos, which means caffeine, which also means, I don't go to sleep until 4 am.

My family and I are on edge, as my dad is an essential employee so he's still out in the crowds, which lead my mom to essentially bathing him in Lysol every time he walks through the door. He is not allowed to go anywhere in our house until he takes a shower. Attitudes are flying everywhere, between the people, the cats, and the dogs, there's no escape. Or as Dory says, "Es-cap-eeee".

I apologize, that was a bad joke, but it accurately depicts my mindset right now.  But don't worry my wonderfully whimsical classmates/ professor, I will be fine!

However, on a more serious note, my depression and anxiety have heightened a lot throughout the past weeks. The uncertainty and loneliness I have been experiencing is the bane of my existence. I get so frustrated because I see people just running around with no care, and I just want people to follow the guidelines so the curve can flatten and we can have a nice summer. I am ready to go Kayaking and Hiking! I saw a tweet the other day on my journey of endless scrolling that said something like this, "I feel like I am in Kindergarten again and we keep getting punished and getting time off our recess because a few kids refuse to follow directions." It truly captivated the mood of the day for me. But through the struggles I will prevail, we all will!

On that note, I am excited to get back into the flow of things and have a semi-normal life again. With that being said, enjoy these pictures of some cakes I made and some things to make you laugh! 

Heres a strawberry cake I made with buttercream icing! Please excuse the horrible piping, I was practicing my skills with a piping bag! 

I have always wanted a snake, and well apparently my cat thought she was a snake one day. She sat like this free will for about 20 mins. We were just straight vibing! 

This a meme I have seen floating around and I wanted to share!

Anyways, I hope you guys are doing fine! See you all soon! Stay Healthy and Stay Strong! May the Force be with you all! 

Almost time...

Hey again. I know you are dying to know how I've been handling this whole social-distancing thing. How does a control freak person who gets most (like 90%) of her social interaction at work deal with sudden change and isolation? REALLY WELL. That is sarcasm. Ha. Some highlights:

My cat Bing turned 18 on March 17. I made him a cake. Or...a cake was made. Let's just put it that way. He and the other two cats enjoyed some Friskies' Lil' Soups, my favorite product name, perhaps, of all time.

I videochatted with friends and my weird little nieces. That helped a lot. I attended a couple of university committee meeting via Zoom, which was weird but also kind of lovely (nice to see people's faces!). My house is so clean. I've taken long walks every day, just like I did before all of this, but they have new meaning and power now.

And, as mentioned above, I put so much work into getting my classes ready to go online. And you know what? We've got this.

It won’t be long now until you are all (I hope?) back at it. I’ve got a week’s worth of discussion board posts just waiting for you, this blog is waiting for you to come back to it, and those Major Project Proposals are due on Monday. (Have I mentioned how much I’d love to have them sooner?) I feel like I’ve been preparing these big old (cozy?) digital spaces for you to return to. And I can’t wait.

Anyway, one last (probably?) “extended Spring Break” recommendation from yours truly: Feel Good, on Netflix. It’s short—6 episodes, each 25 minutes or so, so you can blow right through it. It stars Mae Martin, a queer comedian, playing a sort of version of herself. Martin is someone I first learned about when I was planning this course—she almost made it on the syllabus. Anyway, this show is fascinating for how it explores gender, queerness, comedy, addiction, messed-up family dynamics, relationships…everything? Don’t take my word for it: you can read these two critical takes on it.

Talk to you all soon.

Life Update

Hi All,

I've been missing school (who would've ever thought we'd be feeling that way) and just wanted to post on the blog some life updates to stay in touch with everyone.  For those who have read my posts about Dexter, I finished the show.  To the people who told me the ending sucked? You were right.  I can't stop thinking about it and I finished the show almost a week ago.  In regards to my post about relationships and Dexter, I am still amazing at Dexter's relationship with Hannah, especially through the end of the show.  WHAT THE HECK?! Ugh.  Their relationship is the closest I've felt to envying a relationship, to which I asked myself, "Why?" Their relationship is build solely off their shared desire to kill people and lust. But I had to top and think, "Is this truly any different than any normal relationship bonding?" If you figure this is abnormal psychology, then everything is going to be different.  Dexter is a sociopath.  He shouldn't be able to feel any love anyways, so of course, when he finds love, it isn't going to be your normal, Nicholas Sparks love story.  The same goes for Hannah.  She's seriously messed up.  But who wouldn't be when you fell in love with a serial killer as a teenager who coerced you into murder.  Teenaged relationships follow anyone, so clearly this followed Hannah.  What I think gets me the most about Hannah and Dexter's relationship is how realistic it seems.  It isn't your typical fairy-tale romance.  It's real because it's two fucked up people who somehow fell in love, which really feels a lot like what a real relationship feels like.  It's two people who share in major baggage who are able to  find peace in each other. And while that may be the case for love stories like The Fault in Our Stars, that love story is just so emotional it made me sob the entire book.  BUT THAT LOVE STORY ALSO GOT TO EVERYONE. These love stories aren't like Hallmark movie love stories where some girl has to move to a remote town for work, hates her boss/coworker/town and then falls in love with whatever she hated but moves back home and then somehow ends up realizing it's where shes meant to be and then stays....you know the story.  Those love stories don't get to me. They certainly get to my mom, but they sure as hell don't get to me.  They don't make me wish I had that. They make me wish I WILL NEVER HAVE THAT.   I like my relationship the way it is because I feel like me, a fucked up person has found someone who makes me feel not fucked up, which is why I assume I identify so much with Dexter and Hannah's -love story.  Not to get sappy, but I feel like that is what love is about, be it self-love, familial love, friend-love or intimate love--it is about feeling comfortable and at peace.  That's why I love my bed so much.  It is comfortable and makes me feel at peace. 
So there's my little life update as a result of finishing Dexter.  I've been bottling up those thoughts because my family doesn't care to hear about my overly analytical thoughts on TV shows.  "It ruins it!" yeah, whatever Amy. It gives me peace of mind. Go back to your Hallmark movie. 
I also watched a comedy special with my sister for those looking for something pretty ok to watch.  Its called "Quarter Life Crisis" and it got to me at a few moments because it really calls out a lot of the things young adults are feeling.  It's worth a watch, check it out if you're bored.

Stay safe all. I miss you all dearly.  I hope you're all surviving the close quarters time with family. If anyone is feeling lonely or stir crazy, don't hesitate to reach out to me! I'd love to catch up or listen if you need to vent.

All my love

"Get Down"

Y'all...here comes another recommendation from your already slightly stir-crazy professor. Have you heard of Six, the musical that re-imagines the lives of Henry VIII's six wives? One of my podcasts (of course) was just talking about it and recommended this number in particular, from the perspective of Anne of Cleves.

Your (Lutheran*) professor has been dancing in her chair with this on repeat...

*Give it a listen and you'll see why I am pointing this out.

Podcast Recommendation/Corona Virus

So, in the midst of all of this Corona Virus Panic and possible quarantine, I've been listening to a lot of podcasts (as one does, also please feel free to leave your recommendations below!). One of my very favorite comedians, Chris D'elia, recently released a new episode of his Congratulations podcast where, for a segment of it, he talks about the virus and the overall public response, as well as Trump's televised response. I'd like to preface this video by saying that he does curse, and he does make fun of Trump, though he makes fun of Biden directly after (this is to say that his mockery has no political preference). Chris D'elia has labelled his podcast as just having a "silly-goose time" every episode, which I understand many people are not into (I like to laugh at silly voices and faces and lots of dumb jokes, so if you prefer a more serious podcast, this one may not be for you).

Chris starts talking about this at around 17:10 -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20cMsi8C21E&t=3423s

If anyone has any response to this segment, this episode, or any of his episodes/comedy specials (some of them are on Netflix), please comment!

Podcast recommendation: FANTI

Y'all know I love podcasts. And I am going to be relying on them more than ever to get through this whole social distancing thing. Anyway, finally started listening to FANTI, which some of my other favorite podcasters recommended. Hosted by two queer, black men, the podcast is about our "problematic favorites." Here's how they describe it: "Sometimes the people, places, and things we love don’t love us back. We’re fans, but we also have some ANTI- feelings toward them. Every week on FANTI, journalists Tre’vell Anderson and Jarrett Hill bring their pop culture and political expertise to things we must stan and stand up against."

It's smart and funny and touches on some of the issues we've discussed in class.

(I plan to keep the recommendations coming if I come across anything worth sharing with you all.)

Oh, Those Are the Feronys?

            I am in love with my mother. You know Freud with his Oedipus complex nonsense? Well, he got it at least in my case. My mother is the most beautiful, kindhearted woman on this planet (which is a bold thing to say especially in this class). However, despite my undying love for my mother and my father’s relentless push for me to succeed, providing help whenever necessary, the people I am most excited to see when I go home are my three younger brothers.

            I have told people in my life before that, for whatever reason, the thing I look forward to most when it comes to marriage planning is picking my groomsmen. My lineup when it comes time will be that of the New York Yankees in the 1920s, including Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig. Matt is my Lou Gehrig, my rock that I can count on whenever I need a friend and he will be my best man. Adam is my Babe Ruth. He is a powerful force to be reckoned with and will put one to the fences if you just ask him nicely. He will be my second-in-command. Jason is my faithful first baseman. His job isn’t the hardest, but it is absolutely necessary. He will put all his effort into any job you give him, and he’ll do it with passion because he’s always wanted to please his older brothers. He will be my third. There are other great men in my life who I am excited to notify of the honor of being part of this army of tried and true men, but none compare when facing the Ferony boys.

            David Sedaris wrote about his brother who referred to himself as The Rooster. His brother is perfectly eccentric and loving, exactly the way you’d want a sit-com character to be. My brothers are collectively The Rooster. Matt is my best friend. He’s twenty months younger than me so, in my opinion, there wasn’t enough time for sibling rivalry to set in. At that time, I was still trying to grasp the idea that I could pick up practically anything with my thumb and forefingers, never noticing the person who had begun living with us. Adam was different. Adam is more like that scar a lot of people have right next to their eye. They hated it when they were younger, but it’s been around for so long that you’ve grown to love it. He messed up the awesome two peas in a pod dynamic that Matt and I had going for almost four years then, so it took a while for us to account for his presence. Adam and I are movie fanatics and he is perhaps the most excited when I return from college (giving Kelly, the doggo, a run for her money). Jason is the youngest and he was more of a surprise than anything else. He is eight years younger than me so, while my mom was pregnant, I got to take part in the naming conversations. At this point, I think my parents were running out of ideas. They hadn’t picked a name until they brought Jason home from the hospital. I still don’t love the name, but I love him, so everything worked out. I also began to call him simply “J” and my family followed suit.

            To everyone on the outside, we are the troublemaking boys that must be making our poor mother’s life a living hell. We do. But I think she thought we were so cute when were young that she couldn’t get rid of us opting for our far less rambunctious female counterparts. I am almost twenty-one years old and I will never say that I hate any of my siblings (which is a good thing). One thing I do hate is the way sibling relationships are portrayed in the media. Siblings always hate each other. If siblings are expected to hate each other, then, of course, they are going to learn to hate each other. I am very excited to see my brothers again over the course of the spring break. I miss them, almost as much as I’ll miss you my girls in HNRS 389.

A Late Post About International Women’s Day 2020

First off, I just want to thank all you ladies (and Nick) for being amazing classmates and peers this semester. I know we aren’t finished yet but I’ve been having a great time talking and laughing with all of you. Today I want to share a story of something that happened to me on International Women’s Day this year (so Wednesday). I check Snapchat stories like the morning paper. So I wake up Wednesday morning and I’m doing my thing, and I come across a story from a dude I had matched with on Tinder at some point in time. There was a featured filter that day from Bumble that said, “Empowered Women Empower Women,” cute! I love it! The man in question had used the filter, but crossed out the “wo” to make it read, “Empowered Men Empower Men.” I could’ve puked. Like... my jaw literally dropped when I saw it. What did you gain from this??!? I responded to his story and I said, “we really can’t have one day.” He replied something disrespectful I don’t even remember what but it was uncalled for, much like his edit to this filter. YOU DID THIS TOMFOOLERY ON INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY AND EXPECTED NOTHING TO BE SAID?!!? NICK WOULD NEVER DO THIS! Men really are so fragile to the point that women can’t be appreciated for one measly day. Ridonkulous! I know y’all understand how stupid this is I just needed to get it off my mental.

I want to wrap this up by emphasizing something we talk about a lot, but will always matter. Stories from women, members of the LGBTQ+, non-white people, basically everyone that isn’t a straight white man are SO IMPORTANT. We all have so much to offer each other and society as a whole. I’ve loved hearing all of your stories, and the ones of those we’ve studied in class. I hope everyone has a great and safe break, and that you never stop sharing your stories.

Shane Dawson!!!

One of the week’s post I introduced YouTuber Liza Koshy and all of her glory. This week I want to “introduce” a YouTube Icon who has been on the site ever since the Stone Ages. Ladies and Gent, I introduce you to the one and only… Shane Dawson. I decided to do this again because one, I couldn’t think of anything else to be honest, and two why not he is so awesome! Lets start!

If you haven’t watched YouTube or just don’t pay attention to the world then let me help you out. Shane Lee Yaw aka Dawson was born on July 19, 1988 and is identified as bi-sexual. He did use to do date Lisa Schwartz but now is currently engaged to Ryland Adams. He is an OG when it comes to YouTube, but he is not just known for his YouTube channel. He has done so many things and is considered to be all of the above: YouTuber personality, author, actor, sketch comedian, film director, musician and now make-up artist. In the beginning of his YouTube career, he started off doing skits with family (sometimes) and other YouTube friends along the road. He would play original characters that he created, impersonate celebrities and make light of pop culture. Not only did our boy Shane did YouTube and considered as one of the first, but he also did music. He had a short pop career, but then launched his podcast Shane and Friends ever since 2013. 2015 was the year I started looking into him because this was when he started the series Conspiracy Theories.

Side note: I can say that he is the reason why I started to love conspiracy theories because he will tell us some crazy stuff right, and then his reaction is just priceless. There are times when I get scared when he shares the theory, but I get scared for him because some of the things that he talks about (the government, 9/11, men in black, etc.) sounds very confidential and he might get kidnapped or adultnapped all because he said too much to the people and made them woke.

Anyways, he started off with him sitting on his couch having errie music in the background, giving you creepy vibes. Now, he turned it up! He has a whole intro that looks like some X-Files type ish and Jesus these theories get worse. Not only does he do conspiracy theories, but he goes on scary trips with his friends/Youtubers/family Ryland Adams (fiancé), sister-to-be Morgan Adams, and two friends Garrett and Andrew (camera man) like Queen Mary, Stanley Hotel, etc. There are videos that he makes as a docu-series, for instance TanaCon, Jefferre Star, Jefferre Star and himself for their make-up line and Jake Paul. To this day, he continues to do more and more for his fans and I just love it. Also, don’t get me wrong, all of his stuff is not scary, most of his channel contains happiness along with different adventures, eating challenges, burning things, he is just all over and I freaking love it!

Here are a couple of links to his videos if anyone is interested. They all contain scary trips, conspiracy theories, them just goofing around and so much.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCPDcIQstr8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZcOGPj8C1U

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-sW4PfSxwA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48p-Gjh0L5s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHLBaOASC74

Week 9: Memento mulier

In David Sedaris' "Memento Mori," he describes the odd “relationship” and one-sided conversations he has with the skeleton he gifted his husband. This skeleton constantly reminds him, "'You are going to die,'" and effectively creeps him out (Sedaris 155). Although Sedaris does not explicitly explain the connection to this chapter's title, "memento mori” is the idea that this skeleton reminds him of his inevitable death. "Memento mori" is Latin for "remember you must die" and describes objects in artwork or everyday life that remind people of their mortality ("Memento mori"). I was going to attempt to discuss some things in my life that are memento mori, but I came up empty. Of course, I get the occasional existential thought that I am going to die one day, much like anyone else. However, I am not reminded of that fact or worry about it often enough to have objects in my life that serve as memento mori. With that being said, I thought about how I could still discuss this idea. After some brainstorming, I came up with "memento mulier," which is loose Latin, courtesy of Google Translate, for "remember you are a woman." There are a number of objects and experiences in my day-to-day life that remind me that I am female, or the "lesser sex." Thus, with this blog post, I would like to share a short list of "memento mulier," or things that tell me I am a woman. 

My Memento mulier 

1. The expensive feminine hygiene products I buy every month 

This memento has to do a bit with nature and the biology of being a woman, but it also deals with inequality. On International Women's Day, I saw an Instagram post titled "If men had to pay for toilet paper." This video included a very interesting experiment in which men had to pay for toilet paper in a restroom, much like women have to pay for tampons (if they are even available). If the men did not have any quarters, they had to post about period rights for women (Okamoto). Here is a link to the video if you would like to watch it. I absolutely loved it! 

https://www.instagram.com/p/B9eTfD9nDZA/  

2. I am told to smile while minding my own business. 

Being told to smile is a near exclusive thing that happens to women. (I honestly doubt any guy has been asked to smile by another man or a woman in this way.) It does not discriminate where you are or what you are doing either. I was even asked to smile while completely zoned out around 10pm at Food Lion with no customers. This old man walked by me and told me to smile, in a very sassy way too, even though I was extremely tired and also not even paying attention out of sheer boredom due to how slow it was that evening. As I am typing all of this out, trying to defend why I was not already smiling, I realize that there is something else that reminds me I am a woman... 

3. I constantly feel the need to explain myself, especially if I am doing something "unladylike." 

Just like I was defending why I was not smiling for this creep, I am often explaining myself as a woman. If I am ever in a position of power, which is a feat in itself, I am apologetic or constantly explaining why I am "being bossy." Similarly, I am so afraid of appearing unladylike, that I overcompensate by always adding explanation points to my sentences to seem happy or refraining from vulgar language to seem sweet and virginal. 

4. The fad diet coffee I bought for an outrageous price 

I once bought an embarrassing number of bags of "Keto coffee" in an effort to lose weight. The stress of college and life in general made me gain weight, and I am currently very unhappy with my body.  Society grooms us women to hate our bodies anyway, weight fluctuation or not. Instagram accounts that make money off of vulnerable young women preyed on me, and I ended up buying this weight loss product from one of them. The coffee did not help and was a giant waste of money. FYI this keto coffee tastes disgusting on a whole new level and is basically like drinking liquified butter and dirt. It is great. 

5. Sexist pigs in general 

The sexist pigs I have to deal with, especially at work, remind me the most that I am a woman. I would not have to listen to rude misogynistic comments or marriage proposals from COMs (creepy old men) if I was male. Similarly, I would not have to worry about my safety when certain older men come into the store that have a history with sexual harassment. These kinds of men remind me daily that I will always be treated as a sexual object and a sounding board for their hideously out-of-date viewpoints and ideals. 

In addition to these main "memento mulier," there are littler objects that remind me of being a woman that include but are not limited to: my pepper spray, my spanx, demeaning social media posts, articles, magazines, and other forms of entertainment, my future pay check that will most likely be less than my male coworkers, and catcalls. There are so many more, and I encourage you to share some of yours in the comments. The strongest thing we have as women is solidarity, and I believe that our unity can beat any of the constant reminders that we are not enough. Together we are everything. 

Works Cited 

“Memento mori– Art Term.” Tate, 1 Jan. 1997, www.tate.org.uk/art/art-terms/m/memento-mori. 

Okamoto, Nadya. "If men had to pay for toilet paper." Instagram, https://www.instagram.com/p/B9eTfD9nDZA/. 

Sedaris, David. "Memento Mori." When You Are Engulfed in Flames. Little, Brown and Company, 2008, p. 155.