Growing up, I did not know I could be a doctor. I did not know I could be an astronaut, an FBI agent, or any other historically male profession. I did not have ambitious Barbie dolls or strong female role models in positions of power. My mom was a head start teacher, my grandmas were teachers, my great-grandmother cut hair for a living. There is nothing wrong with any of these professions, but I had no idea that I was allowed to be anything else.
I do not remember when I realized I could be whatever I wanted. I was not at all into politics when Hillary Clinton came into the game in 2008 but I do remember being completely shocked that a woman was allowed to run for president. I was 9 years old and I was having an existential crisis realizing all of my potential, which came with a lot of pressure. I have never wanted to be the president of the USA but its nice to know that technically the rules don't count me out.
Fast forward to college. I worked as a scribe at an emergency room for a year and a half among a super diverse group of medical professionals. One day I was working with a young black female doctor and the day was so ridiculously busy. We walked into an older woman's room and the doctor introduced herself. "You're the doctor? I've never had a …woman doctor." As we exchanged uncomfortable (and annoyed) glances, the doctor said "well... here I am." I took a quick peek into the office where the doctors chart and I realized that EVERY DOCTOR working that day was a female. Hell yeah baby, we LOVE to see it!
Anyone who knows me knows that I've changed my life plans approximately 6 million times. After this exchange at the hospital, I actually considered becoming a medical doctor simply to prove to all the old ladies who have never had a woman doctor that I could do it. After realizing how much work it would take to spite a few old people, I came to my senses and decided to get a PhD instead.
I often struggle with this duality of feminism. I AM a woman and I LOVE being a woman, but do I need to be acknowledged as a woman every time I do anything of significance? If I became a doctor, do I need to be called a woman doctor? If I wrote a book, am I stuck being a woman author? On one hand, hell yeah I'm a woman. But on the other hand, I did the work! I am a doctor. I am an author. I do not need my title to be discounted or enhanced, depends on how you read it, by adding my gender in. Nobody would ever say "oh look, a man doctor." "This book is great, and the best part is that a MAN wrote it! How brave." I have gone back and forth deciding if the woman-title is a good or bad thing. At the end of the day, I usually laugh it off and work harder than the next guy.
Cheyenne, I found your post, and particularly its ending, very interesting. It is disheartening to think about, but often times, "woman" is a sort of derogatory term. It shouldn't be something that's used in a degrading sense, especially since it is a gender and is an aspect of ourselves that we cannot help. One could make the argument that race is similar in that one could use the statement you included and insert a race, like "Oh look, an African-American doctor/author!" And I would imagine whoever says this, let's use our old friend "Karen," follows that up with "How strange!" or "How unusual!" No, Karen, it is not strange or unusual, and you are treating them differently why? Because they aren't your "usual" white male doctor or author? I think this discounting of what it is to be female and POC, even by females and POC themselves, is so toxic and is something that needs to stop. How are our children going to know that it's perfectly normal and amazing to be a female/POC doctor if their aunt Karen is so shocked by one?
ReplyDeletePoor Karen. :)
DeleteI also find it interesting and frustrating that no matter what career a woman goes into, people attach the word "female" in front of their profession when referring to it. A "female doctor", "female poet/author", "female [insert any profession here]". If the word "female" isn't affixed to the front of the profession, then the profession has a female subcategory. Female actors are actresses, female waiters are waitresses, etc. Like you said, it would be absurd to say "male doctor", but it is perfectly normal to say "female doctor" as if women are a subset of men, and they have to be differentiated and seen as lesser than at all times.
ReplyDeleteI love how you talked about the stigma that all those job fields are "Male Dominated" even though woman kick ass in all of them, but never get the recognition they deserve! I hope one day that women will truly be seen as equals and will not have to constantly prove they are worthy, but I have a feeling, sadly, that this day isn't for a long, long time.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of a portion of Michael Che's standup "Michael Che Matters" on Netflix. In one part he says he's raising his daughter to be racist. He explained his daughter LOVES Doc McStuffins (a Disney Junior show about a little black girl who's a doctor to her stuffed animals, and whose mother is a doctor). He took his daughter to the doctor one day and a white man walked in and she said, "he can't be a doctor." But, like Vivienne said, slapping female in front of a job title is so dumb! I hate when sport's teams are called Lady (insert mascot here), it just seems dumb to me.
ReplyDeleteI also grew up with a mother who was a teacher, and beyond that I couldn't tell you what the women in my family did because most of their time was spent at home preparing the house for when the husband came home from his typical-male job. While I am choosing to be a teacher, for a great deal of my life, I have never had a female band teacher. I was told my freshman year of college that i should've chosen art because that was more of a woman's job and band directors are supposed to be men. This was actually what i heard from a man, in my tuba studio, who is graduating alongside me. Clearly he doesn't seem to understand he does not have the right to tell me what I can and cannot be, nor does he seem to understand THIS IS THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY AND I, A WOMAN, CAN BE WHATEVER I WANT TO BE. But he brought it to my attention that music teacher is often a male-dominated career unless you are a choir director (Sophie, we still love you). I chose to let his absurd comment propel me into empowerment. Yes, I am a woman who plays tuba, and YES I will be a band director. Yes I will get on the podium and conduct just as well as any male conductor ever. And, NO! I will not let your pea brain dictate the course of my future. Women can be whatever the F*CK they want to be. You go be a doctor. Go be a writer. Go prove to the women who never believed they could, that you can be absolutely anything. I'll be your cheerleader.
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