Hi guys its Daisy Girl! <3 This week I’m going to talk about the part of Hannah Gadsbys “Nanette”, that I related to the most. This part starts about 59 minutes and 29 but there is also another segment at about 39 minutes. I will also be discussing my not so coming out story, and my coming out story.
I realized at a very young age that I was different from most of the other people in my classes. I could see this because in the 5th grade I saw that I was finding women attractive, just as I was men. I remember there was this one girl who I thought was really pretty, and I’m not going to lie to you I felt shameful of that, just as Gadsby does about her sexuality as we hear at about an hour into the show.
By the time I had gotten to middle school a lot of my friends had come out. When I was about halfway through 8thgrade I decided to come out to my mom and sister, or at least I thought I would. But when I tried to do it in the most creative way little 8th grade me could.
Listen guys, the most creative way I could think of was as follows:
*Walks in on mom and sister talking about rainbows and unicorns* (My sister at this time was in 5th grade and was literally obsessed with unicorns)
Me: I like to taste the rainbow on occasion.
*My mom looks at me confused*
Mom: …
Sister: …
Me: …
*Mom realizes what it means*
Mom: You better be fucking joking me
Me: It was a joke I’m sorry
*Everyone laughs*
Mind you my mom had at this point met all of my gay friends and she loved them, and knew they were gay. This to me means she was not okay with her kids being gay. Does this make her homophobic? I have no clue. To this day my mom still doesn’t know that I wasn’t really kidding. At 38 minutes and 50 seconds Gadsby’s mom tells her that she regrets raising her as though she were straight. I really felt that because I wonder if my mom would have that regret as well. My dad didn’t know I wasn’t completely straight either. I didn’t tell him because if I had told him, he would have told my mom.
After this I felt so much shame just as Gadsby shares she does. I didn’t know what to do, so I tried to just forget about it. But how do you forget about something like that? The truth is you don’t, and you can’t. I still to this day have not forgotten, how my mom treated me.
I came out to my sister when she was in about 7th grade after that. She was very accepting. My sister is one of my best friends. If she would have responded the way my mom did, I don’t know what I would have done.
After my parents separated this summer, I decided it was time I come out to my dad. However, I could never seem to do it. Every time I wanted to say something about it to him, my mouth opened, but nothing came out. I don’t know why this was happening, my dad is the best dad in the whole world!
Finally, this year, on CHRISTMAS, I finally got the courage to do it. But the bad thing is it was right before my sister and I were leaving for my mom’s house. I felt so bed because I kind of just blurted out to him “By the way, I’m bisexual…”
His response:
Coming out to him didn’t make me completely comfortable with who I am, but it was a step in the right direction, and I’m very happy that I did it.
Hey Daisy. I just want to start by saying I am so proud of you. I was just discussing with my boyfriend not even half an hour ago how powerful coming out is. It takes so much courage and it is so scary to overcome. Seeing everyone write about how Nanette effected them really shows the power of comedy. I feel that most times people just see it as jokes to pass the time or make fun of current events but Nanette really showed the power behind representation in minority communities. Growing up for our generation, we just barely missed the cusp of LGBTQ+ representation. Fortunately, we're seeing it now as young adults and are fortunate to possible bring a generation into this world with LGBTQ+ representation, but for the people who are college aged now, we just barely missed it. Again, I am so proud of you for coming out. Although I'm jst a classmate, you will forever and always have my support.
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading your post, I actually realized that I’m not the only one who is afraid to come out to my parents. For some reason, it’s easier for me to tell friends, classmates, and even complete strangers my sexual orientation than it is to tell my parents and brother. I’m honestly inspired by you. You had the courage to tell your father and sister, and you had no clue how they were going to react. I’m not ready yet, but maybe your story can help me build up the courage to tell my own family.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story.
Thannk you for sharing and feeling safe enough in this space to be open. I wish it was taught to parents the process of their children coming out. It is a struggle I also had to endure with my family, but some families do better than others. They need educated, by father is still upset cause he thinks I can't have children.. It is just a lack of understanding that I think scares them the most, especially since we are their kids. d
ReplyDeleteI want to say right off the bat that you are so strong and beautiful. Your story reminded me of my own situation, but reversed since I told my mom and sister, not my dad. I still haven't, but that's another story. Your journey to coming out is so inspiring, and I feel honored you felt comfortable telling us about your sexuality. The fact that we live in a world were many people in our community feel the need to stay in the closet for fear of negative reactions of others is incredibly sad and unjust. However, I am seeing change happen throughout society with people becoming more accepting, so it gives me hope for the future.
ReplyDelete