Drunk Humor is Not for Me

I actively try not to put off my homework until the last minute, but this week has been a steaming pile of shit for me, and I honestly had no idea AT ALL what I wanted to talk about. That was, until I began watching the stand up for Friday’s class meeting.  Initially I began watching Jenny Slate’s Stage Fright. I was exited! She seemed like a cool woman and I really freaking liked her jumpsuit. But all of our mothers, teachers, corny wooden signs from Hallmark (or I guess Barnes & Noble would be more likely to have a sign that says this) are right, you cannot in fact judge a book by its cover.   

I began watching the stand up, and for about 20 minutes, I just sat uncomfortable with my boyfriend, because as I've shared before, I devotedly watch stand-up with him. I found the first 20 minutes incredibly uncomfortable and not funny at all.  She was dancing. Okay, alright, dancing is cool. She was interacting with the crowd.  Okay, nothing wrong with that. But I think what really made me upset is she just seemed like she was relatively intoxicated.  Yep, there it is.   

To save you all from the sagas from my youth, (who am I kidding, I'm still young. But youth is a comparative thing and I would like to believe I have grown up considerably since high school so for all-intents and purposes, it is youth.) Let us just say that men have treated me like trash, my abusive ex-boyfriend is now an alcoholic, and I am now the eternal D.D.  I’ll let you fill in the blanks.  I do not find drunk humor funny. I don’t find the reckless decisions made by college students or young adults while intoxicated to be funny.  I don’t like to be around drunk people that much either, but my mom-instincts (which were for free when I became the mom friend, I just had to pay shipping and handling) go into over-drive and I always want to make sure my friends have a safe ride home.  So, I drive.  I sit silently in the corner at parties. I drive my car listening to the blubberings of drunk couples or drunk girls in the back of my car. But seldom do I laugh.  There is probably some way to tie this into the expectations of women in society and our need to be motherly and have our shit together...something. Somewhere.  But if I was able to organize those thoughts, I'd probably be writing about those instead.  I digress.   

What I am trying to say is, I do not find drunk humor funny. I am conically uncomfortable around drunk people. If I laugh, its nervous.  Drunk people are scary, they’re unpredictable and they’re chaotic.  They have limited to no control over themselves, they’ve puked on me, they’ve puked in my car (ugh, poor Carla), they’ve cried in my arms over a spilled beer or stupid shit they did because they were drunk—the list goes on.  So, when Jenny Slate was bobbling around the stage in her cute-ass jumpsuit (my opinion of that jumpsuit remains) but drinking her beer-shaped beverage, to me it just put me off.  She appeared to have no control over herself.  She was laughing the most at her own jokes. She was kicking the dead horse of her jokes.  She kept dragging them on as if they were still funny.  Maybe to some they were. This is not an attack on anyone who enjoyed this stand-up, but to me, this was just uncomfortable. When all of that was said and done, Netflix flashes to her family home.  Dude, what? I guess that’s what a Netflix special does, but I had just sat around waiting for the bit to get funny and then I see her awkwardly interacting with her family in her family home? Nah.  Not for me.  So, I switched.  I watched Wanda Sykes stand up instead. Previously I had stayed away from that one because the description explained some political and racial humor and I was too exhausted to get fired up after my steaming-pile-of-shit week, but oh man did I laugh my ASS off to Wanda Sykes.  I was easily the highlight of my week.  I am sure in discussion you’ll hear all about my opinions on Not Normal, so I’ll save you from having my positive opinions spoiled.   

Maybe if I had given Jenny more of a chance and stuck through the show, I could have enjoyed it.  Maybe.  I guess you never know until you try. I understand many comedians drink while they perform. Lowered inhibitions, I get it.  My dad once told me he was “invisible” after a few too many beers at a cook-out.  He meant “invincible”.  Good try Greg, here is your personal reminder to never EVER try to write a lesson plan while you’re intoxicated because you become less literate and more stupid.  I love you, Dad, but please, just don’t. And for those who are wondering, no, my father is not an alcoholic. No, he has not written his lesson plans while drunk before. Yes, he is an elementary art teacher.  He is a hoot.  It takes a special kind of person to be an elementary art person and I commend him for teaching third graders every day how to use scissors even though that is a kindergarten skill.  Anyways, drinking lowers inhibitions, I get it.  But to me, Slate seemed like she was on the verge of being “white girl wasted” and like if I drove her home after her performance, she would have joined the elite group of people who have puked in my car/on me.  Not a fan. Drunk is just not my type of humor.  If you’re there for it, by all means, do not let my opinions sway you, just maybe don’t invite me over to watch some drunk person tell jokes. I probably won’t laugh, and I’ll just sit there with my resting bitch face utterly unamused. There is your warning.