DadBod's, Self-Love, and Double-Standards

For this week’s blog post, I knew what I wanted to write about the minute I read the line, “…enter your thirties, you will find vaguely in-shape bodies ridiculously attractive…It’s just that the DadBod signifies comfort—in one’s skin, in throwing a middle finger to vanity…”(56-57) in Phoebe Robinson’s book.

This line inspired many different emotions all at once, some of which include; shock, amusement, pride, inspiration, happiness, and many others. This one line made me stop for a moment while reading and really think about myself and if this statement could possibly be true one day, since I’m not even in my twenties yet. XD

I have had a long and twisting road to discovering both self-love for myself and confidence in knowing my sexuality, and she’s telling me it’s going to change again?! Right after I finally thought the road had come to a happy, fulfilled ending??? Dammit! (Just joking of course, I know that sexuality is fluid and flexible throughout life) I have always struggled with both and have only just recently become extremely confident in both areas of my life.

I identify as Pansexual, a title I started using confidently starting only at the beginning of last semester after I finished RA training during the summer. The journey, however, had started back during my high school years when I can clearly remember researching what it was like to be bisexual. I was on my phone, in my room, under the covers in the middle of the night, afraid someone would come in and ask what I was doing. Since then, I’ve done a lot of inner reflection, and now can confidently say that I don’t care about gender, as long as we vibe, I’m willing to see where the relationship goes. As for my self-love journey, I’ve already done a post about that, so I’ll just say the journey was about 8-ish years long, and still on-going, but I’m doing fabulous!

The idea of a whole-body type being a symbol of “Fuck You” to any ideal beauty standards just made me pump my fist in the air and go “Hell yeah!” However, as empowering as this is, if a woman had the same body type, the story would be a whole lot different. She would be shamed for it, judged, and essentially the exact opposite of how it’s viewed for men.

As women, we are judged primarily by our looks and how we present ourselves. If we come off as, “…the smartest person in the room. You should watch that, so you’ll be more likeable…”(143). That is just one example of the double-standards that women are subjected to in society based on personality traits alone. If a man exhibited traits like ambition, intelligence, or leadership, he would be praised, but if those traits were shown by a woman, she would be criticized for them and be “put in her place.” (That  place being one of servitude, silence, and obedience)

Lately, the world has been getting marginally better at realizing that women are individuals that have personalities and qualities that make them more than just an object that’s judged for its beauty. Even though the world still has a LONG ASS WAY to go in treating women equally to men, change is still happening. All it takes is just one person to stand up and demand for this right, and then others will be encouraged to follow, and that’s exactly what is currently happening. Here’s to the future of this nation, let’s hope it only continues to get better.