No, You Can't Tell Me What to Do

Of course, there are people in this world who can, and rightfully should, tell me what to do.  Teachers should probably give me assignments so that I am held accountable for my learning. My parents should probably give me a curfew so I don't stay out until the ass-crack of dawn with my best friend "spilling tea". My tuba instructor should probably tell me what I can do to improve my playing so I can become a better musician.  A doctor or dentist should probably tell me to stop eating so much candy at odd hours of the night because it will inevitably negatively effect my health or my teach.  A yoga instructor should probably fix my yoga pose so I don't break my wrist or something else I would probably do. A police officer should probably read my my Miranda Rights so I realize for once in my life I should probably shut up before I get myself into more trouble than I already apparently have in this hypothetical scenario... The list goes on.  I will swallow my pride and acknowledge that there are probably a handful of people in this world who should tell me what to do.  But there are EVEN MORE people in this world who despite how hard they may try, CAN NOT tell me what to do. 

Growing up, 8 out of 10 times, if my mother told me not to do something, it meant I was going to do it. "Hannah, don't touch the burner, it's still on!" Yeah okay mom, whatever.  So what did I do? I laid my hand on a hot burner and burned my hand.  I was around 3.  Has anything changed? Maybe a little. I no longer lay my hands on burners out of spite, but I do act out of spite quite often still.  I do not  like being told what to do.  I like to feel in control of my life and my self.  Unless I can see some validity in what you may be telling me to do? Then maybe I MIGHT, (emphasis on MIGHT) listen to what you have to say.

In most, if  not all of the texts we have read thus far, we have seen women saying a big ol' F*CK YOU to what people tell or expect them to do.  Fey and Poehler both said screw the male dominated world of comedy and came right out on top.  A true mark of Fey and Poehler's success? The fact I thought both of them were respectively Sarah Palin and Hilary Clinton. I truly could not have identified the real from the fake until probably this year after reading their books.  Robinson is most notable for saying No to what people expect her to do (or look like or act like). I mean, after all the title of her book is, You Can't Touch My Hair and Other Things I still Have to Explain.  Robinson is no stranger to the things people seem to believe they have the right to say, do or expect her to do. She explains she was one of the only Black people in her high school.  I can only imagine everything that came with that she didn't even touch on.  She also explains how she was expected to wear her hair.  Black hair, clearly a large area of topic, almost always.  But what I loved about Robinson's book, is in chapter two she explains all the people who paved the way in doing what they want with their hair (Robinson, pp. 27-52).  I love to see a woman who is empowered by those who came before her, both female and male. 

After reading the foreword, introduction, and chapters 1 and 2, I couldn't help but feel secondhand empowerment from Phoebe.  If a young black woman who definitely does not have the privilege of me, a white woman, can feel empowered simply by the hair of people, then why the heck am I bogged down by the men in my life who are clearly clueless over what it takes to be a woman?  I feel like going out with a hammer now and crushing the metaphorical  patriarchy... okay maybe not a hammer... maybe just some colorful poster and a pointed tongue.  The point I am trying to make is that no one ever should get to tell us how to live, how to act, or what to be.  We get to choose our path. Self expression is one of the greatest treasures in this world, and while woman and POC have not always had this treasure at their fingertips, it is 2020 and no one can hold us back any more.  A woman can be president.  A woman can be a doctor. A man can be a stay-at-home father. Our opportunities are endless and I say flash anyone your extra-long middle finger who tells you that you cannot be whatever you want to be or do whatever your heart desires.  Yes, I would suggest you continue to listen to your doctor or a police officer.  And maybe even sometimes the government...but only sometimes. I think we can all see that it is quite often a mess down there...