Post 2: Life as a Woman

     As a woman in today’s society, I have grown up learning women are treated as less than men. Less important, less intelligent, less humorous, less valuable. As a woman in my house, I grew up learning women are treated as less than men. I was raised by my grandparents who grew up learning the men worked, and the women stayed home to take care of the children, that’s just how it was. You can imagine my surprise when I told them I wanted to attend college and it was encouraged. My surprise quickly turned to dismay when the comment afterwards came of, maybe you’ll meet an intelligent man there who you can settle down with. They weren’t encouraging college because they wanted me to be successful in life, they encouraged it because they wanted me to meet a man who would be successful.

     My first thought was anger. Yet my second thought was, how can you be mad at them for believing in what they were taught? I can’t change their mindset overnight, but I can prove them wrong by making something of myself without the help of a husband. How though can I prove them wrong when I am in fact, the kind of woman who wants to get married and have children down the line. It’s the infuriating thought process of women with children can’t be successful but that is completely untrue. They exist I promise, just look for them, they are there. These women people refer to when saying that, are the ones who aren’t helped by their spouses. You can have two working parents, and successfully raise children, as long as both are willing to participate in the second shift. With both helping out equally around the house neither will be more likely than the other to become burnt out. Fanny Fern puts it best when she writes in Mrs. Adolphus Smith Sporting the Blue Stocking. She writes, “ Wife! the baby has swallowed a button- (reverse him dear take him by the heels,)- and waving in his hand a banner, on which was written- Ma! I’ve torn my pantaloons- liberty or death! The inhabitants rushed en masse- Wife! Will you leave off scribbling?” (Fern 2105). When she wrote this, I couldn’t relate more to how she felt from the comments being made by her family. She is obviously trying to get something done and yet no one will leave her alone. Her husband can’t take care of the children alone for five minutes and it’s most likely because he feels he shouldn’t have to. I thought to myself dear god is this the kind of life I want. Do my grandparents understand this is what they want for me? My grandmother should want more for me than this.

     I also strongly resonated with Tina Feys I don’t care if you like it piece. My favorite part was when she wrote, “Rick Fenderman says women aren’t funny….Do you have anything to say to that? Yes, we don’t fucking care if you like it.” (Fey 144). In this moment she commanded respect. I believe all women have a fire within them, they just express it in different ways. Our grandmothers raised in times of hypocrisy by the men that surrounded them, commanded respect in their parenting. Half of the time I was punished growing up wasn’t because I actually did or said something wrong, I said or did it after my grandfather said or did something wrong. She didn’t correct him and demand her respect; she corrected me and gained her respect. She wasn’t raised to talk back to a man, but somehow quietly raised me to do the exact opposite. Where she would correct her children, I will correct my husband and then my children. I believe now she knew what she was doing. She passed her own silent, raging, fire of passion onto me, so I would do the opposite of her. As a woman in today’s society, I have grown up learning women are treated as less than men. It is because of this I will not silently teach my daughter to speak back, I will teach her to be loud.