What the F Has in Common With the P

               Fanny Fern and Amy Poehler; two very different women, in two very different time periods, and yet they’re fighting for the same cause. Well at least a similar cause. They’re both part of a feminist movement that is much larger than either of them, yet they play such influential parts. I have never felt more sheer bad assery from another woman, than I did when I read Fanny Fern’s piece entitled, “A Law More Nice Than Just”. In this piece Fern writes “Emma Wilson was arrested yesterday for wearing man’s apparel” (1854). I mean here’s a woman who legitimately just wrote about another woman getting arrested for being out in men’s clothing, so what does she do? Why she puts on a pair of her husband’s trousers, collared shirt, and overcoat, and then goes for an evening stroll with him. I can imagine the appalled looks on the men’s faces, from her time, who read this section and can’t possibly believe what they’ve read. I’m fairly certain it’s the same one men would have today if they read Poehler’s piece entitled, “the robots will kill us all: a conclusion”. In this piece Poehler writes six simple words, “I am a fan of porn” (321). Now, if a male had written this no one would bat an eye, but a male did not write it.

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It’s all part of this double standard. You know the one I’m talking about, the one that defines your good girl or bad girl status. Yes, women enjoy porn too, and yes they like to talk about sex. Why is it then that it’s such a shock when we talk about it, or that it turns us into a “bad girl”? For instance, a little while ago I had a conversation with my boyfriend about knowing to much about his best friends love life. The conversation went something like this; me: I don’t need to know that’s he trying to have sex with some girl he met on an app but thanks anyways, him: I thought you would find it funny, me: would you find it funny if I told you about who my friends were trying to have sex with, him: well I doubt they tell you that stuff to begin with. The conversation ended with me explaining that girls most definitely talk about that “stuff”, and that includes me talking to my friends about my sex life, the same way he talks to his friends about his. At first he was confused, but then the recognition hit. The problem here is that we’ve made it extremely taboo for women to talk about their sex lives, because they’re not supposed to have one. If it was talked about more I wouldn’t have been so shocked when I read it is Amy’s book. I applaud her for including it.

Fanny Fern wore men’s clothing out in public. Amy Poehler openly admitted to not only watching porn, but also stating he kind that she enjoys. Yet somehow, I can’t even get myself to wear short shorts out in public for fear of being looked at the wrong way. Maybe it’s actually for fear of being talked about in the wrong way. I’ll never forget the first time I bought a pair of daisy dukes. Now you must understand that until I turned eighteen my primary shopping partner was my grandmother, and yes I did still manage to have friends in high school. So, at nineteen years old I bought my first pair of booty shorts, and they were on sale for four dollars. That’s probably the most important part of the story because no one sells shorts for four dollars anymore. I didn’t even bother to try them on until I got home. I must admit they looked longer on the hanger. My grandmother said, “those are cute, but you can’t wear them out in public.” My initial reaction was, of course, I’m an adult now you can’t tell me what to do. Still that comment stuck with me and I have only worn them once to the beach. Moral of the story is, in this world, don’t be a Linda, be an Amy. Embrace your inner Fanny Fern and wear the short shorts, she’d be disappointed if you didn’t. *

                                      

*I was going to post a picture of me in the shorts, but for the sake of not wanting to cause anyone a heart attack, from getting overexcited by my lumpy butt cheeks, you must instead settle for a picture of the shorts.


1) https://brainyflix.wordpress.com/page/5/