I would like to begin this week’s post by thanking every single one of you amazing people. This class has been enjoyable, and I feel like I learn so much without any effort. Many of the stories and writers from our journey have connected with us in ways we may have not known before. I believe that this has helped us find connections between different groups and unite us. We created such a quaint little community of people of all backgrounds and we should be proud!
Many of you have felt so comfortable to share some pretty real and traumatic events in your life. I grew up (and still live) in a household where many of my emotions are shut down and mental health has been pushed to the side. This class has helped me become more comfortable with sharing my stories with the world and I feel much more comfortable with this class than I have with any other. So, I am going to try my best.
My mother has a drug addiction and is an alcoholic. This is something that I did not really realize until I entered high school and the toxic parts of my life began to have a true effect on me. I became depressed without even realizing it and if I spoke to my parents about it, they would tell me that I was fine. I was not fine. For months I had no sense of emotion, time, or who I was. I thought there was something wrong with me. It never occurred to me until just a few months ago that I was experiencing mental illness. I had some very dark parts in my life but I made it through just like every one of you.
Upon meeting my boyfriend earlier this semester I told him about what I had been through. He has depression and anxiety and has been seeing a therapist for about two years for support. The night that he unofficially diagnosed me with depression hit me very hard. For so long life has felt like I was always missing a piece to the puzzle and after a decade or so everything made sense. Since then I have also discovered that I may also suffer from anxiety as well (like many stressed and overwhelmed college students do) and it is certainly is a struggle. It is so comforting to see such strong individuals be so open about their struggles and it has inspired me to do the same for this week. It has truly been a pleasure learning with all of you beautiful people. Thank you for giving me a platform and the comfort to be me (:
Hannah, I loved your blog post. I am thankful for you as well, and I'm truly honored you felt able to share your story with us. I may not know your exact struggles, but my mother is also a drug addict (well recovering drug addict currently, I guess. She recently sent me a message about it but I haven't spoken to her in years) so I can somewhat understand. I do understand how trying it can be, especially when you're growing up and you want your mother to pay as much attention to you, as she does her addictions. Just know you are beautiful, and stronger than you think, and though you may feel as if you do, you don't actually need her. You are going to blossom and do amazing things, things I hope your mother realizes she should be, and wants to be a part of. But if not, just know you have a support team behind you that will be cheering you on from the side lines.
ReplyDeleteHannah, I truly thank you for feeling comfortable enough with us to tell us your story. I know that admitting you are struggling or are having issues is hard, I get it trust me. My mom battles a lot of mental health issues, some of which are hereditary, so I now have them. Due to her struggles, I struggled a lot as a kid, which in turn added to my anxiety and did not help when I developed an ed and depression my senior year. If you haven't already, I do recommend talking to a counselor or therapist, I didn't tell ANYONE for so long what I was going through and I finally sought professional help this year from one of those school counselors on campus and she was a great help! I never realized how much of my life were triggers for my anxiety and she was really good at helping me identify those and she also helped me understand that I wasn't crazy for feeling the things I did. I have loved having class with you and I wish you the best with your future and I do hope that you start feel some relief from the anxiety and stressors in your life!
ReplyDeleteOh, Hannah: thank you for sharing your story. Like your classmates have already said, it means so much. Addiction and mental illness can be so isolating, for those suffering from it and for those who love someone suffering from it. But as you all are indicating, talking about it all and removing the stigma can help. So again: thank you!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing this. For trusting us. You are so strong, and I'm so glad you have someone in your life who is willing to support you. I'm not sure if you've considered therapy at all, but it has helped me TRMENDOUSLY and I would recommend it to anyone, no matter what they're going through. I hope you continue to feel the comfort and community that this class brought for you.
ReplyDeleteDepression and anxiety are so much more common than the everyday person thinks. So many people experience mental illness without even realizing it, and I'm glad that you were able to pinpoint what was happening.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved your story and your so open with sharing it with us, very relatable in a few parts and also very powerful.
ReplyDeleteThank you again for sharing, you are such a good writer, too! Anxiety, along with panic disorders, depression and so many other mental illnesses are hidden because so many are afraid to speak on them for advoacy, to vent and you are so strong for doing this! I'll miss you guys! *wipes my eyes once again today*