This is only the beginning, so I refuse to say goodbye

Wow. I can’t believe this semester is almost over and that this is going to be one of my final blog posts. I’ll be honest…I had NO idea what to write about since we didn’t have any readings this week that I could’ve used as inspiration. I’ve written about some very personal topics in my life and it’s amazing that I was able to feel so incredibly comfortable to be able to share those stories with this class. Some of the closest people in my life don’t even know some of the things I’ve shared in this class in my blog posts.

I decided to look through some of the titles of people’s blog posts from this week and skim one or two of them to see if I could get any inspiration. I noticed that a common theme was that a lot of people were talking about the impact this class has had on them and saying goodbye to everyone. I got inspired by this (thank goodness XD) and decided to write about how this class and everything we’ve learned about has impacted me in my daily life in 3 big ways:

1.       Self-Deprecating Humor

Throughout this semester, we’ve read and watched so many AMAZING authors and comedians. Some of which include Fanny Fern, Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, Ali Wong, and most recently Guy Branum. A common theme throughout all of their humor, especially the women, is self-deprecation. This constant stream of self-deprecating humor really made me think introspectively on my own life. I started to notice how often I would use self-deprecating humor in my daily life, and ESPECIALLY how often those around me (most notably my girlfriends) would use self-deprecating humor. While I know I have a strong sense of confidence about myself and my worth (Which took YEARS of work, there is no way to cheat that) I noticed that my friends who used more self-deprecating humor had AWFUL self-esteem about themselves and their worth.

It made me realize the damage that this form of humor had on people, much like how comedian Hannah Gadsby talked about it in her comedy special “Nanette.” Gadsby talked openly how when you constantly tear yourself down in the name of humor, you end up damaging your self-image beyond what you intended, and the healing for that takes so much longer than people think. I realized, through this constant exposure to this form of humor, that if I want to protect my hard-won self-confidence, I need to IMMEDIATELY stop using this form of humor, or risk reversing all the work I’ve done over the years.

2.       My Sexual Identity

This year of college alone has impacted how I identify sexually, but this class has definitely been a MAJOR factor in my confidence in how I now identify. I have written about this part of myself MULTIPLE times on the blog and I love that I was comfortable to do that. The great thing about this though is that this class has made me confident. This space that us as a class created to make people, including myself, feel comfortable sharing sensitive topics has impacted my confidence in the best way. I realized through this class that not sharing who I am with those closet to me is a disservice to myself. I’m not being TRULY myself with them, and thus they’re not being friends with ME, but a version of myself that’s scared of sharing who I really am with them. I’ve realized through this class that if my friends can’t handle the real me, then I shouldn’t be friends with them since I have been able to do that with a whole class of people who I’ve known for a semester and they accept me just the way I am.

3.       My Love For Women Comedians

Before this class, my primary comedians I loved to watch and would automatically go-to to watch were Robin Williams, Jim Carey, John Mulaney, and Chris Rock. While there is nothing wrong with these comedians, and I still to this day love and ADORE their comedy, they are all straight men and three of them are white. Through this class, I have been exposed to so many PHENOMENAL women and LGBTQ+ comedians that I had no idea existed before taking this class. Some of my personal favorites that I have now because of this class are Fanny Fern (an oldie but a goodie!), Amy Poehler, Hannah Gadsby, Ali Wong, and Tig Notaro. I honestly can’t remember what my life was like before these amazing comedians came into it, but it was probably sad, unfulfilled, and not the life I want to be living now that I know what its like after having them in my life. I can now be able to list a diverse and amazing group of comedians as my go-to favorites because of this amazing class, and it has changed my life for the better.

OOFF! Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, it’s time to wrap up this already super long post! Firstly, I love and appreciate all of you so much more than I can say for helping with all the things I’ve listed and not listed above. This class has been my all-time favorite class I’ve had since coming to Shepherd, and I know for a fact I’ll be telling my future children about how this class was my favorite out of all the classes I took while in college. The friendships I have made and the changes in my life that have happened were both unexpected and happily accepted, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

I always hate saying goodbye since it usually involves a lot of emotions, and ANYTIME I feel overwhelmed with any emotion, I will automatically cry. While there is nothing wrong with crying, since I feel that its healthier to get it out of my system as opposed to repressing it, I don’t feel like sobbing over my laptop tonight. SO, instead of ending this post with a goodbye, I’m going to end it with a “see you later.” I doubt this is the end for the friendships I’ve created and the bonds we’ve all made as a result of this class, so I’m not saying goodbye, since this is only the beginning! I hope anyone who read this post liked it, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for the friendships I’ve made! Love y’all! Keep being fabulous and amazing individuals!