Honestly, there’s bigger fish to fry...

In class, we discussed the fine line of oversharing and not sharing enough in books written by women authors. The books that we’ve read are all by women comedians, all of whom are successful in their own rights. As I tried to come up with a blog topic, my mind drifted to my plans after college. I want to be elected into a political office, which means I have to be very careful about what I say and do in person and online. I’m not exactly a “Nancy Pelosi” or “Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez” figure as a college student who’s going through bagel withdrawal (cutting out gluten is a nightmare, by the way),  so most, if not everything, I say is inconsequential (unless I do something-or rather somethings-really stupid. See Justin Trudeau, Canadian Prime Minister, Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam, Virginia Attorney General Mark Herring, Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey, and Florida Secretary of State Michael Ertel.)

You might be wondering how any of this connects with our readings. Think about Hess’ article for a second: her main argument was that women authors hide who they are from the public. She isn’t explicitly stating that this is for their own safety, but there’s an implication that these authors are trying to keep some control over what information is shared with the public. If that’s true, then something like “painting your face black without thinking about how you’re perpetrating cultural stereotypes at the expense of other racial groups” is something they would want hidden. Of course, I don’t think any of the authors we have studied so far would do anything like that, but there are other life events that aren’t for public consumption. 

Let’s take Amy Poehler as an example: she mentions in her book Yes Please that had a “depressing run-in with a grabby producer”, according to Hess. However, she never says the name of the producer-why? She names the nanny, and that was after describing an embarrassing situation even I wouldn’t admit to (I stand by my statement that I have never texted the wrong person. I am too paranoid for that.), so what exactly is the issue here? Is she afraid that naming the producer will cause her to have legal troubles? If the name is kept anonymous, does it save the producer’s and her own reputation? Why does she have to admit this happened to her, but not have the ability in sharing the name of the man who made her feel uncomfortable?

And why is this okay for the public to know about? Are we really that nosy that little tidbits like this are required for a book to fly off the shelves?

Perhaps the point of writing out this sequence of events was for Poehler to illustrate an important point: it doesn’t matter who made you feel uncomfortable. It matters how you deal with it. Or maybe it really is about making more money. For some reason, though, I don’t care about the motives behind it. As long as no one is digging into her personal life without her permission, then my only role is to make people see the real issues presented by other characters in women authors’ books: sexual misconduct, misogyny, and micro-aggressions. 

Week 3: The "Myth" of "Never Enough"

It is hard to feel "enough" when subjected to constant competition. I am reminded of this simple, yet devastating fact every time I unlock my phone. As I scroll through the seemingly effortless, calculated glamour shots of every woman I wish I could be, I tell myself that I will never be enough. Yet somehow "I will never be enough" rings throughout the beautiful heads of the women I envy as they envy others "more beautiful" than them. To be a woman is to be sucked deeper and deeper into an endless whirlpool of competition. Sadly, some of us struggle to stay afloat and disappear into the abyss of loneliness and shame born of something we ultimately cannot control. Through examining Tina Fey's Bossypants and Amy Poehler's Yes, Please, I hope to make a statement about the harmful effects of social media on the presence of "not enough" in women's minds today. 

In Tina Fey's Bossypants, she briefly discusses the concept of "not enough" and coins the term, "The Myth of Not Enough," to describe her feelings toward it (87). She claims that competition between women, which is encouraged by society, is actually a myth. Furthermore, she suggests that the true competition lies between "everyone" (Fey 88). While that statement contains a nice sentiment and is valid, I would argue that women are pitted against other women more often than they are seen "in competition" with men. In other words, society has yet to progress enough for competition to be a completely genderless concept. Even if it is not direct, women are competing with each other constantly, and this issue can especially be seen through social media. 

Along with Fey's ideas of "not enough" and competition, Amy Poehler's ending remarks against technology, particularly cell phones, adds another layer to this argument. Specifically, Poehler mentions that one of the numerous reasons she despises technology is that "my phone wants me to feel bad about how I look" (319). That statement directly correlates with this idea that social media aggravates "not being enough." We are constantly being exposed to "things [we] shouldn't see" that make us feel less than (Poehler 320). Personally, I do not need to see picture after picture highlighting extreme wealth and perfectly chiseled bodies. I would like to say, "Good for her! Not for me," but I find myself wishing, "How about for me too?" (Poehler 32). This dialogue is incredibly dangerous, however, as I am comparing my current life and physique to something I will possibly never attain. It is not only being "not enough" in this situation but forever being "never enough" that is so disheartening and harmful to my self-esteem.  

Social media affects women negatively in a multitude of ways, which predominantly include low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness. However, we may not understand just how much social media makes us feel "not enough." Numerous experiments and studies mentioned in an article from Sex Roles, a feminist, scientific journal, claim that "exposure to thin-ideal media images increases women's dissatisfaction with their bodies" which leads to "eating disorder symptomatology among preadolescent girls and young women" (Perloff 363). Along with unhealthy body image, women remain exposed to out-of-date, stereotypical gender roles "despite decades-long social activism designed to increase gender equality" (Perloff 364). This unfortunate fact relates to Fey's point about competition. It remains a gendered aspect of our society, and the media continues to reinforce this division between genders. Thus, it is "not enough" to say that us women are in competition with men as well as women, because we are still expected to compete with only each other. To argue otherwise is only feeding the "delusion" that we are anything more than "not enough." 

Works Cited 

Fey, Tina. “The Windy City, Full of Meat.” Bossypants, Little, Brown and Company, 2013, pp. 87–88. 

Perloff, Richard M. “Social Media Effects on Young Women’s Body Image Concerns: Theoretical Perspectives and an Agenda for Research.” Sex Roles, vol. 71, no. 11–12, Dec. 2014, pp. 363–364, EBSCOhost, doi:10.1007/s11199-014-0384-6. 

Poehler, Amy. Yes Please, Dey St., an Imprint of William Morrow Publishers, 2014, pp. 32–320.