Vagina.
That's the word Phoebe Robinson says makes people "act like they have ants
in their pants when they hear it" (109). Women are supposed to be
reserved, collected, and professional, meanwhile I don't have enough fingers to
count the number of ball-scratches I've seen on the EPTA today. Boys are
comfortable talking about their genitalia by the time they're in middle school.
Hell, they COMPARE SIZES by the time they're in middle school. Condoms are
given out like candy at Halloween, commercials for Viagra come on so frequently
you'd think they're going out of style, and male birth control was discontinued
because the participants got headaches. :'( There's the only tear you'll ever
see me shed about that.
I was disappointed when I saw a
headline in the Washington Post about a post partum ad that was supposed to run during the Oscars
this year but was rejected for being "too graphic." The commercial is
for a company called Frida Mom that makes products specifically for recovery
after giving birth. What was deemed "too graphic" is the reality for
many women after creating a human. I saw this ad shared on Facebook and the top
20 comments were mothers explaining how helpful it would have been to have
these products after they'd given birth, but they didn't know about them. This
got me asking the question: why aren't we talking about it more? I realized
there's a lot of things I've been told not to talk about, so here's a brief list of
me talking about them anyway.
1. Periods. The first time I got my period, before I learned
how to properly use a tampon, I learned not to talk about it. Even though this
is a process that happens to most women monthly for 45 years of their life, it
is still taboo to discuss. The amount of times I have said "ugh my cramps
are so bad today" and heard "WOOOAAAHHHH TMI! I don't need to know
about all that!" is... atrocious. Even in my high school, girls were taught
not to discuss their periods. The nurse's office had a box full of cardboard
(ugh) tampons available for girls who needed them. The box had a big dot on it,
you know, like a period. And the dot was red. You know, like blood. Ha ha ha.
The whole point of the box was that girls could come in and take one without
having to say out loud "do you have any tampons?" because there could
be a boy within earshot and they CAN'T KNOW I BLEED.
2. Preventing babies. Listen here, one of the biggest scams
of my lifetime is the accessibility of condoms and ridiculous price for birth
control. Here's a fun tidbit to get to know me better: my OB/GYN scheduled me
to have my birth control implant replaced after 2 years and 363 days.
Unfortunately for me, my insurance company only covers it once every 3 years,
so I have a bill for $1,200 in collections. TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS to avoid a
pregnancy. But condoms are thrown out like confetti. Don't get me wrong, I am
glad condoms are accessible, but they also break and many people have latex
allergies. The real issue here is that I can't talk about it. I am not supposed
to mention birth control to men, even my dad, because then they would know I
could be having sex. What a sin that would be. I love watching shows about teen
pregnancy and almost every single teenage couple says "we just never
really talked about birth control" followed by a giggle, because they feel
uncomfortable. It's a shame how many accidents have happened because people
wanted to avoid an "awkward" discussion with their partner, or they
didn't feel comfortable enough to ask their parents how to get on birth
control.
3. Having babies. The dialogue around pregnancy, labor,
birth, post-partum, breastfeeding, and women's anatomy in general is often kept
closed. Before I ever let my boyfriend touch me, I made him learn and explain
ovulation to me. I made him learn what a fallopian tube and a placenta are. A
20 year old, regardless of gender, should know the anatomy of a reproductive
system, especially if they are sexually active. Why are we so afraid to talk
about these things? Why are we scared to have an awkward moment? So many
mothers do not breastfeed because they're AFRAID to ask about it. They don't
want to bring it up because its uncomfortable.
We have to open discussions about these things because
they're relevant and important to everyday life. No woman should feel like her
biology must be kept a secret as not to upset the other people in the room. I
can't even imagine how much I, as well as other girls, would have benefitted from
being able to speak freely and openly about my period, birth control, and
pregnancy. When celebrities like Amy Schumer speak on these topics, they're
commended for being so courageous. I hope that one day speaking on these
subjects will no longer be viewed as "bold" or "brave," it
will be normal.
Shammas, Brittany. “This Ad Is a Raw Look at Postpartum Life.
The Oscars Rejected It for Being Too Graphic.” The Washington Post, WP
Company, 10 Feb. 2020, www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2020/02/10/oscars-rejected-postpartum-ad/.
