Week 8: Ashley Graham is a "Pretty Big Deal"

When I first wake up, I often like to scroll through Instagram or Snapchat. Particularly, I will (almost obsessively) clear my stories and subscriptions on Snapchat, and when I am finished looking through those, I will browse the "For You" section on Snapchat's Discover. Discover is basically a bunch of pop-culture and current news articles that Snapchat thinks I will be interested in. On Tuesday, I was scrolling through, and I saw an article about Ashley Graham "breaking the internet" with her Instagram posts about her pregnancy and postpartum struggles. I think, after watching Baby Cobra and seeing the boundaries Ali Wong broke with her comedy special, I was intrigued to see more examples of this in media (Wong). Like we discussed in class Wednesday, women are becoming more and more comfortable with these topics, as they should be, and I am thankful that we now have role models with platforms who share this important part of their lives. In this blog post, I would like to discuss Ashley Graham's posts further and reference the articles I read on Snapchat about her sharing her pregnancy and postpartum life with us. 

Just like how Jesse David Fox mentioned how Wong "humanize[d] motherhood" with Baby Cobra, Ashley Graham is also normalizing this subject with her Instagram posts. In one of the articles about an Instagram post of her pumping in an Uber, the author claims that Graham is "on a mission to help normalize breastfeeding" (Williams "Pumping in Uber"). Similarly, Graham writes in one of her captions, "No one talks about the recovery and healing (yes even the messy parts) new moms go through" (Graham). Perhaps even more telling, she states, "It's unbelievable the obstacles we still face talking about what women really go through," hitting the nail on the head about how shocking it is that society still does not promote this truth telling (Graham). Personally, I agree with the statements that Graham and Wong are making about society and conversations about pregnancy-related issues. We have progressed enough (at least I would like to think we have) as a society to be comfortable in discussing what truly goes on with women during pregnancy and the postpartum stage. Alas, we still fight to normalize these natural parts of life and are sadly shamed and looked at differently for it. 

For more information on Ashley Graham and the positive impact she is making on normalizing all aspects of motherhood, please check out her podcast, Pretty Big Deal (Williams "Breastfeeding"). She recently made a video introducing her son on her podcast, alongside her husband, Justin Ervin. Her Instagram page is a great source for material like this too!

Works Cited 

Fox, Jesse David. "Appreciating Ali Wong's Powerful Pregnancy Joke in Baby Cobra." Vulture, 9 May 2016, https://www.vulture.com/2016/05/ali-wongs-powerful-pregnancy-joke-in-baby-cobra.html. 

Graham, Ashley. "A S H L E Y G R A H A M." Instagram, https://www.instagram.com/ashleygraham/?hl=en. 

Williams, Valerie. "Ashley Graham Posts Video of Herself Pumping in an Uber." ScaryMommy, 27 Feb. 2020, https://www.scarymommy.com/ashley-graham-pumping-breastfeeding-uber-video/. 

Williams, Valerie. "Ashley Graham Shares Sweet Photo of Herself Breastfeeding Her Son." ScaryMommy, 5 Feb. 2020, https://www.scarymommy.com/ashley-graham-breastfeeding-photo-instagram/. 

Wong, Ali. Baby Cobra. 5 May 2016. 

The Hidden Meaning and Power Behind Names

            The other day, I was doing the readings for Ali Wong and noticed that she would call out her daughters’ names in her book to remind them that she is specifically speaking to them. This got me thinking about the huge impact of names that society seems to skip over. Names are intimate and they mean something. Instinctually, if we hear our name called, we turn our head before it has even registered in our mind what has happened. My dad’s biggest piece of advice when going to college was to learn everyone’s names and use them when I saw them next. This shows them that you were impressed enough by the first time you met to commit their name to heart, making them feel special. It also immediately puts you on a more intimate level with someone, “first-name-basis.”

            At some point in time, someone gave you your name because it meant something to them. Often because they knew someone who they’d like to see as a role model for you. Maybe simply because they thought it sounded pretty or strong. Names means something, no one is going to name their child after a terrible person, which would be completely demoralizing (but also somewhat twistedly funny). Jenny Slate comments about her name in her comedy special Stage Fright saying that she thinks that her name has attributed to the bouncy personality she portrays. She explains, “Whereas if I were Susan, this is how I would enter a room. I’d be like, ‘Okay, let’s get started! (kicks door) JK, we’re already done. Get to bed!” Obviously, though, her bouncy, nicknamey name has done a lot for her and her comedy career. The fact that she is bouncy makes her lovable on stage and shows that she loves what she’s doing.

            I am the oldest of four boys in my family and while my parents were having kids, I would think to myself, “This is it. It’s got to be a girl this time. The odds are stacked in my favor.” Since that never happened, I have pretty much decided that I don’t want to stop having kids until I’ve had a daughter. On Tuesday, I was listening to “Dear Prudence” by The Beatles, my favorite band. I thought to myself that prudence is such a pretty word, but I wasn’t completely sure of its meaning, so I looked it up. Prudent, the root of the word, is defined as “acting with or showing care and thought for the future.” That is just beautiful to me. I immediately stopped the song and turned to my girlfriend and asked, “What do you think of the name Prudence Olivia for a girl? And we would just call her Pru.” To my pleasure, she seemingly loved it just as much as I do. BTW, I am not expecting a baby anytime soon, let’s just say I’m prudent.

            This post is somewhat a call to action. First, to find the meaning in your own name if you don’t already know. You might find out something you like about yourself that you didn’t know; someone liked it. Second, Recognize the meaning and value to other people’s names. Listen to, and memorize, the names of others when you’re introduced to create a more intimate and dependable relationship. It makes people feel better about themselves knowing you took the time. Lastly, please listen to The Beatles. If you haven’t already heard, they’re kind of a big deal.

Better For My Daughters

Disclaimer: I am not pregnant nor do I have children. I didn't want the title to confuse anybody :--).

While watching Baby Cobra, I was thinking to myself how amazing Ali Wong looked in her skin-tight dress while 7 and a half months pregnant. My next thought was “I could never do that.” I have felt insecure with my body for as long as I can remember. No matter how skinny or chubby I am, I still have the same feeling of “I can’t let people see what shape is underneath my clothes.” When I was a size medium, I wore a large. Now that I’m a large, I wear an XL. BUT RECENTLY… I became tired of it. I started asking myself why. Why was I so afraid that someone would be able to make out the shape of my hips? Why did it feel like a cardinal sin for my shirt to touch my stomach? Why was I so worried about it?

I thought back to growing up and getting ready with my mom in the mornings. She would put on a shirt and say something like, “ugh you can see my fat rolls in this. Ew, I look so gross. I can’t wear this into public.” For as long as I can remember, my mom has always put herself down. If someone compliments her hair, she’ll reply with “really? I feel wind-blown.” If they compliment her shoes, “I just found these on a rack somewhere for cheap, I don’t even like them, really.” If they compliment her shirt, “Oh don’t look at it, I look so big and bloated right now.” 

As I grow older, I find myself repeating a lot of those phrases. I find myself blowing off compliments and turning them into self-deprecating statements instead. I realized I’d rather not have anyone comment on any part of my appearance at all. I felt uncomfortable saying “thank you” in response to a compliment because the woman I looked up to my whole life never said that. I started dressing plainly and in way-too-big clothes in high school so nobody would want to compliment me. Most of my wardrobe is gray, black, white, and navy blue. I don’t do my hair and makeup. I don’t want to risk someone telling me I look nice because I don’t know what to say back. 

Recently, I started making a conscious effort to stop this behavior. I started practicing saying “thank you.” A great way to reply to compliments, I’ve found, is to compliment them back. So now, I put on makeup when I feel like it. I dress up when I feel like it. I don’t want to adopt my mom’s habit because I don’t want to pass it on. I don’t want my daughters to see me speak down to myself and think it is normal. I want to be better for my daughters. I want them to be comfortable in their own skin. I want to be comfortable in MY skin. I want to wear a latex dress when I’m pregnant.

Ways in which I am stupid

I don’t believe that Ali Wong is actually stupid, as she claims to be in the preface of her book. She obtained her bachelor’s degree in Asian American studies from UCLA, so I am sure that she is a very educated woman.  Like Ali, everybody has moments where they don’t shine their brightest. I decided to give a few personal examples of when I really look like an idiot.

The Pledge of Allegiance vs. The National Anthem

Now, this one is newly discovered for me. While at a basketball game, I stood up for, as I called it, “The Pledge of Allegiance” and my boyfriend just laughed at me for it. Utterly confused, I asked him what was funny and he politely told me where I went wrong. I had an existential crisis in the moment realizing that for MY ENTIRE LIFE I have been confusing the two. The best part is that I have made absolutely no progress in realizing the differences. I still confidently stand up for the Pledge of Allegiance during basketball games.

Bibliography

I can pronounce the word above correctly about 20% of the time. Even when I try to say it in my head it doesn’t come out correctly. The word terrifies me. I still don’t know how many syllables it actually has but I think I add like three extra ones just to be safe. Why can’t we all just say “work cited page”? It’s so much easier to pronounce plus adds like two extra words to your essays.

Effect vs. Affect

I know this is a common one that affects (is this right?) people from all walks of life but can somebody please tell me when to use them. Most of the time I know that I have a fifty-fifty chance of getting it right, so I just decide if an “a” pleases me more at the moment that an “e”, or vice versa. My real question is if anybody actually knows the difference. If you do, and you are reading this, please tell me. I need help.

Checking your phone for the time then forgetting to check your phone for the time

Okay, I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only person that does this, but I still think I’m pretty stupid for doing it. It happens probably 80% of the time when I do check the time and I still get so frustrated that I do it. The worst part is that I don’t learn from it either. I just keep doing it over and over again and continue to embarrass me in front of me. I don’t even know what I get distracted by in the first place. Maybe my lock screen? Or my battery percentage? All I know is that no matter how much I want to change, I never will.